The Ark Storm


“There’s supposed to be a Storm to Remember coming this weekend!” my mailman warned.

Really!  I’d better get my camera out for this one.

Devastation caused by The Storm to Remember!

For the hearty souls who brave the threat of a major earthquake each and every day, Californians are surprisingly wimpy weather-wise. 

 For instance, rain is something out of which all California children must be kept. 

 What if they were outside, say, walking, say, and it started raining actual raindrops?  They are wet you know, and they are hurtling to earth at death-defying speeds. 

Yes, it’s true the average California child has lived through six earthquakes so far, but that’s nothing when you compare it to getting slapped in the face with a bullet of H20.   Every Californian knows a thing like that could cause permanent nerve damage!

In Seattle, where the sun shines so rarely it’s often mistaken for Venus, it’s just the opposite. 

Weather exists only as degrees of dampness.  So Seattle-ites whip out their sunglasses the instant the sun makes an appearance.  They are quick on the draw, these Damp People. 

You’ll be driving along on the Seattle freeway when suddenly the sun appears, ufo-like, from behind a rain-soaked, humidity-filled fog bank.  You quickly glance over at the cars on either side of you — and what do you know?  The drivers already have on their sunglasses.  Huh?  Why do they even own sunglasses?    Five seconds later, when the sun dashes behind a 120-percent-chance-of-rain cloud, all sunglasses are quickly removed, twirled between thumb and forefinger and expertly returned to holsters.

Now Weatherians (new word I just made up, feel free to spread it around but be sure to capitalize it) gleefully tell us that California is long overdue for a super storm called the Ark Storm.  Experts (people who hang out at Ark Storm scenario summits) tell us that the last Ark Storm hit California in 1861 causing a flood of such epic proportions it wiped out the entire 1861 California Cattle Industry estimated at the time to be 7 cows, 2 chickens and a pig.

Devastation of the 1861 Ark Storm!

Some experts who were actually listening at the Ark Storm Scenario Summit remind us that two really Stormy Storms hit Northern California in 1986 and 1997. 

Devastation of the 1986 and 1997 storms!

Even though I was unlucky enough to be living in Northern California during both of these horrific storms, luckily I didn’t notice them. 

But being a True California, I’m just sure I drove my kids to school both those days.

Until next time . . . I love you

5 thoughts on “The Ark Storm

  1. The pictures really made me laugh. Californians are really weak and pathetic. I’m one of them and I whine if it’s less than 60 degrees out. Wind? Forget about it. I might as well not get out of bed.

  2. That article freaked me out yesterday when I read about this major storm that’s apparently going to drown us all, but ‘freaked me out’ as in I said out loud to Ryman, ‘I think we might want to consider buying an umbrella.’ because that’s right, we don’t have a single one. I love your destruction photos. So neat to see all that damage from so long ago. LOL.
    Wouldn’t it be a hoot if all these Weatherians were actually like the smartest, most beautiful looking people ever on the planet and no one ever knew it because they refuse to socialize with anyone except other Weatherians who can only be found at Ark Storm scenario summits? Sad, and totally not likely, but anyway.

    I want to move to Settle, where apparently it actually DOES rain!

  3. That article freaked me out yesterday when I read about this major storm that’s apparently going to drown us all, but ‘freaked me out’ as in I said out loud to Ryman, ‘I think we might want to consider buying an umbrella.’ because that’s right, we don’t have a single one. I love your destruction photos. So neat to see all that damage from so long ago. LOL.
    Wouldn’t it be a hoot if all these Weatherians were actually like the smartest, most beautiful looking people ever on the planet and no one ever knew it because they refuse to socialize with anyone except other Weatherians who can only be found at Ark Storm scenario summits? Sad, and totally not likely, but anyway.

    I want to move to Seattle, where apparently it actually DOES rain

    • That would be funny! They do sound like they could be a race of really shy people who own a lot of umbrellas and live inside of volcanos or something. HA! That’s so funny what you told Ryman about getting an umbrella. If you’ll notice they didn’t tell us a single thing to do if it really should happen. I know Clayton has a rubber duckie innertube maybe we call all cling to that. I didn’t get to Nob over the hill yesterday so didn’t get to try the dinner. Tonites the night!! :) Linda

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