Pottery Barniac-ism


OK, I admit it.  I suffer from Pottery Barniac-ism.  This terrible disorder can strike anyone at anytime.  It is characterized by an intense over-interest in the Pottery Barn Catalog and for which there is no known cure.   The main symptoms are thumb-joint pain brought on from excessive thumbing through, repetitive eye-rolling and heavy sighing punctuated by fits of hysterical laughing.

Please rest assured that I do not hold Pottery Barn in any way responsible for my condition.  But until a cure is found, the pages of the Pottery Barn Catalog shall be an endless source of interest to me.  With this in mind, let’s discuss:

Loose fit slip covers!  They’re imported!!

 

Pottery Barn is offering this “drop cloth loose-fit couch cover” for only $79.00. Nevermind that it took a whole heap of tucking, tugging and twisting as well as wringing, wrestling and wrenching plus a good amount of yanking and yelling (and sometimes even yodeling!) by the entire staff of Pottery Barn professionals made up of 25 designers, 17 craftsmen, 4 jugglers, and a schizophrenic to get this thing to look like it’s worth 79 bucks. 

 And then, of course, it will look like this the first time somebody sits down on it:

I don't get it. I didn't even lean back

But it doesn’t matter, drop-cloth couch slip covers are still cool,  because why?  Answer:  Why because they’re imported, that’s why.  Which automatically makes them better.  PB doesn’t specify where they have imported them from,  but this rustic little cottage in the Ukraine countryside looks  a tad familiar:

Uh oh! The importers will be here any minute! Has anybody see the Tide stick?

 Now, let’s take a closer look at the coffee table shall we?

Pottery Barn is elevating the art of unexpected decor in this Nod-to-Dentistry vignette with its smart smattering of decorative dental instrumentation tastefully arranged in the dish and the repurposed pickle jar.

And is that a roll of gauze or perhaps a drinking vessel reminiscent of a roll of gauze?  This can only mean one of two things: 1) PB customers are spending way too much money on imported, drop-cloth couch covers and repurposed pickle jars forcing them to perform their own root canals or it’s simply Pottery Barn’s salute to gum disease.

Well shut my mouth!! Leave it to Pottery Barn to put the Causal Living in Rinsing and Spitting.

Until next time . . . I love you

One thought on “Pottery Barniac-ism

  1. These pottery barn posts are so funny! I can’t imagine buying a couch slip cover. I’ve tried it before (buying one at target) which looked like the picture you show of the messy, wrinkled sheet thrown over your crappy couch. I’d rather just showcase my crappy couch than one with a messy wrinkled sheet cover over it!

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