In 37’s Mind, Thanksgiving IS Football

It’s Thanksgiving morning, and my husband, 37, — better known as Sports Fan Dad — has just turned on the first of the 500 games he  will vicariously experience on this, The Day of the Turkey.

In addition to  his couch-coaching commitments, he will also attempt to help me prepare the holiday feast.  If all goes according to his plan, he will be able to help with the cooking, eat The Big Meal and take The Big Nap without missing even a second of the Thanksgiving Day Foootball-a-thon.

At 9 am, 37 takes his position in front of the television set where he begins gently stretching his thumbstrings in preparation for some serious football spectator skills, such as olive-to-mouth tossing, pull-tab popping and rapid-fire remote controlling.

I’m in the kitchen preparing the dressing and making the usual holiday decisions about whether to stuff the turkey in the fridge or the one on the couch.

By 10 am, after I have everything chopped, cleaned, peeled, and stuffed, Father Football dashes into the kitchen (during one of the longer commercials) and, assuming an air of authority, lifts lids and asks pertinent questions such as:

“Are these nuts or what?”  and  “How much Longer?”

He then grabs a cold refreshment with one hand and nimbly plugs in the electric knife with the other and toddles back to the couch, secure in the knowledge that he has been a valuable team player in the outcome of the big game hen.

Of course, after expending all this energy, it is not surprising that 37 is a no-show when it comes to getting out the good china and setting the table.

After all, too much activity at this critical point in the day could cause 37’s blood sugar level to plummet — zapping him of his much needed cork-popping strength at The Big Meal.

At 1 pm, I summon You Know Who to the kitchen so that he can perform “The Dad Thing” –which is to get the turkey from the oven to the counter without 1) dropping the patient on the floor and 2) getting third-degree burns on his free hand — the one not holding the refreshment.

Then with the precision of a tree surgeon, 37 carefully carves the turkey while I get the rest of the food ready and call everyone to the table. 

About the time the potatoes are cold and the Jello is warm, 37 emerges from the kitchen proudly displaying a delectable platter of turkey parts arranged in the famous football wing formation.

This duly impresses the relatives and they applaud while the children at the card table perform the wave. 

For the first time all day, the television set is turned off, Thanksgiving dinner is served and the family shares the warmth o fellowship in collective turkey gobbling.

The culmination of hours of planning, shopping and cooking is consumed in a matter of minutes and as 37 returns to his post (with dessert), he assures me he will be assisting in the clean up of The Big Mess . . . just as soon as he awakens from The Big Nap, that is.

Until next time . . . I love you

6 thoughts on “In 37’s Mind, Thanksgiving IS Football

  1. I can’t wait to experience 37 in all his “helping” glory this weekend. It really is funny how much planning, cooking and preparing goes into Thanksgiving for about 12 minutes of eating. Still, I will relish those 12 minutes!

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA It’s so true! I mean I GET it and football omg…A male in my family walked by me earlier Thanksgiving day muttering something under his breath I thought it was ” I don’t want to watch any football today” When I said what? DId you just say..hahah the silence…deafening. My daughter and I were discussing that Thanksgiving was for football right? LOL. I actaully started a post right after dinner about hours of prep for 20 min of eating..too funny. I just gave up – ok I fell asleep from too much football – um turkey and maybe next year. No need to beat a dead bird now that the day is over. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and all the pie and turkey you could want.
    Peace :-)

    • Haha! Well Lizzie, I guess it really is true that great minds think alike! I did have a wonderful thanksgiving (in spite of the football)! And I hope you and your wonderful family did too! I really enjoy reading your blog and it’s definitely something I’m thankful this year! :)

  3. Awww that’s so sweet. Yours was the first blog I ever read. true story. And I have enjoyed every post I’ve read. One of these days I am going to sit here and just read read read…lol. The only reason I haven’t yet is because I have a butterfly garden in my brain lol. I have so enjoyed this community feeling and the feeling of having a friend that gets it. I don’t have too many people here where I physically live but family so it’s a really cool feeling to know that you can count on “seeing” someone and interacting with them often. I had a nice day. Food was good. Football was yea always always …lol. My Dad remembers all the major events in his life, mmeaning his familie’s , by the games that were played around that time. It’s the lucky grandkid that was born during football season and he has even been able to get anniversaries of my brother and I correct because he reembers what game he missed seeing to attend our weddings. Lol My brother played football up through college
    and his son is now carrying that torch. Ahh well.
    Peace :-)

    • Now that is what a call a football fan! Even more than my grandfather who was a teacher and was also a high school football coach (I think he coached all sports as he always taught in small towns.) My mom and dad met in high school and my grandfather was his football coach and dad always called him “Coach”. I think your grandfather is a lucky guy to have a passionate interest. Even if it is football lol! :)

  4. I’d say you have No Idea…but you do lol. It’s pretty funny if we are trying to figure out a date of some event and my dad will say oh it was Oct 15 1990 for example and we all get quiet and look at him cause I mean…a MAN that knows the important dates off the top of his head? And he will say …Penn State palyed OSU in the something playoffs game it was snowing and I missed it. LOL.. The ties that bind are sometimes odd. :-)

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