Thank You Pottery Barn for Life Itself!


Are you living your life like wind tossed lint?  Bouncing hither and yon at nature’s whim –never knowing the difference between up nor down nor side nor ways? 

Well, Pottery Barn has a solution for that, Dear Reader, and it’s called:

The Pottery Barn Daily System

That’s right!  Pottery Barn and their “Daily System” has finally found a way to make keeping track of your family’s events a full time job!

Finally something to fill the loney hours of your day from dawn to dusk and vice versa!  Waahoo-ee!!

Now, the first thing you do – using PB’s Daily System – is polish off a bottle of beer and a bottle of wine and then rinse them out and place them on their designated spots on the shelf (as pictured). Once that task has been completed,  you’re  going to be  in the mood to write something rather odd and crazy on the blackboard just like Pottery Barn did. 

You could either copy PB and write “Summer Night Alive and Bright” or come up with your own drunken phrase. 

And since the blackboard is at the tippy top of the Daily System, you will need to climb up on the desk (which Pottery Barn designed just for this purpose) and carefully . . . watch it now! . . . write on the blackboard.

  Of course, while you are up there, you might as well grab a couple of pens and pencils . . .  oh and don’t forget the scissors, grab those too, while you’re at it. (You never know!) 

But do be careful don’t– whoops!  Did you fall down?  PB anticipated that might happen.  Hopefully the desk broke your fall and you can still read the family activities that have been written on the white board — because you might have to make some changes to those activities.

For instance, you’re probably going to have to skip the 4th of July celebration altogether, who knows if you will have regained feeling in your arms and legs by then — of course, Dad could ice your back for you if wasn’t traveling all week.  (Isn’t that always the way!)

And you’re probably going to have to  find a way to break it to Curtis that you can’t drive him to sailing lessons due to your being paralysed and all. (But watch out! Curtis isn’t going to like it!)

And the Palmer dinner thing . . . well, if all that involved was Palmer eating a bowl of Mac and Cheese while conversing with you about Curtis’s sailing abilities while you lay paralyzed on the desk –then there’s  no need to cancel that one! YAY!

Ah! That Pottery Barn!  Always working around the clock to make your pathetic life better! You gotta love ‘em!

Until next time . . . I love you

34 thoughts on “Thank You Pottery Barn for Life Itself!

  1. Thank God for good ole’ PB! Now I can pretend my life is full of zest and pretensions sounding activities such as “Riding lessons with Buffy, Tuesday 2pm (after tea with the queen).

    Thank you Pottery Barn. Finally my anal retentive tendencies have STYLE.

  2. How much $ are they asking for the promise of summer nights that are alive and bright? I’m still mulling it over.
    (‘paralyzing’ not mentioned in the promotion- read the fine print)

    • Hi Joy! I think all total it’s going to come to well over $300 not counting the wine and the beer which is probably imported by yak back from the bowels of some country heretofore unknown to the general public! And no mention of the paralyzing? What th?

      • Right on! Those bottles are seriously ‘imported’ PB style and you know what that means…you’re gonna feel reeaaally special looking at them.

        PS Let’s meet on our sunny bench sometime soon

    • Good questions! I used to use a typwriters like that in the office I worked in in the 70′s and I can say for a fact it’s not very efficient, especially when it’s me doing the typing!

  3. Pottery Barn posts – above and beyond, my favorite.

    Thank you cowgirliz for pointing out the typewriter. Thank God Pottery Barn offices typewriters, because 1948 called, and it wants its typing device back so my grandfather can finish his bachelor’s degree on the GI bill.

  4. forget about paralyzing my body…I would be a drooling idiot trying to oraganize anything in PB fashion. And really..sailing lessons? they don;t market well to us common folk… this (Pottery Barn) is the kind of CRAP that made me feel like a failure as a housekeeper and family whatever…. I love how you do these ..it makes it all better :-)

  5. Plus when you think about it, you really would have to climb up on the desk to reach the pencils and the scissors. Pottery Barn has it comin’ in spades. Sailing lessons . . . please! It’s just all so silly!

  6. They have people watching. They’re all over. Be careful. Be very careful.
    All joy in spelling lonely right. HF

  7. Who names their child ‘Curtis’? Oh, right, people who actually shop at PB!! (I see Joy made the same connection). I’m betting the planned daughter is named, ‘Felicity’, and has the doll plus all the things that go with her. They al wear pink and green plaid, with a perfect tan.

    I don’t like PB people.

  8. Yeah, Curtis! And don’t forget Palmer. I’m sure the daughter, Felicity has everything imaginable! And I’m surprised Pottery Barn isn’t selling tanning beds. I’d love to see the way they would write that up in the catalog!

  9. It looks like too much work for me. And those siscoss look scary like they could fall at any time, like just when I’m writing on my white board calendar that I have to redo each month!!

  10. I would just like to know how they managed to do a full color page through a 1960s Selectric typewriter.
    Truly, they are the Keepers of the Mystery(tm)

  11. Because of your enthusiasm, I subscribed to their catalogue.

    At least I thought I did.

    I’ve just received my first issue of Potty Barn.

    Oh, well. At least now I’ll have something I can be proud of under my bed… : (

    • Ha ha! Mark! You certainly are one to take a negative and turn it into a positive! I think they should change the name of the catalog to Potty (mouth) Barn because that’s kind of what happens when you read the prices outloud! :D

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