37 Hits a Bucket of Balls

I went to the driving range with my husband, 37, to hit a bucket of balls.  As we were setting up, I noticed all my balls were wet.

“Does it make a difference if your balls are wet?”  I asked 37.


“Your balls, does it matter if they’re wet.  Is that going to make any difference?”

“Well I suppose if you were a professional golfer, it might make a difference  because there would be less spin on the ball.” 

“Oh, then wet balls are a good thing?”

“No because you don’t have as much control on the ball as you would if you put spin on it.”

Then does that mean you’re going to wait for your balls to dry?”

“What?  No.”

“Well that’s because you’re a good golfer.  Wet balls . . . dry balls — it just doesn’t matter.  You’re so lucky!”

We began hitting our balls.  37’s balls were long and lean.  Mine were short and fat.

“Ouch!”  I said.   my middle toe is cramping up on my follow through.”

37 stroked his chin and rolled his eyes up trying to access what Golf Coach,Hank Haney, of the Golf Channel might advise.

"Don't worry Hank will know what to do!"

Then he asked in all seriousness, “Which middle toe?   The one right next to the big toe or the one next to that one?”

“The one that ate roast beef.” 

37 went into suspended animation trying to access his memory for a golf channel tip about what you should do when the Little Piggie That Ate Roast Beef  cramps on the follow through.

“Well I think you should try tightening up your abdominals.  That ought to fix it.”

So I did what 37 said and tightened up my abdominals and hit the ball long and straight. 

“Hey look at that, it worked!”

“YAY!” I said.   I didn’t have the heart to tell  him my balls had completely dried.

27 thoughts on “37 Hits a Bucket of Balls

  1. I really have to remember not to read your blog when I am eating lunch or drinking something. I always wind up having to clean my keyboard. ;) Hilarious as always!!

  2. “The one that ate the roast beef.” HaHaHa!!!
    I’m glad you included a picture of Golf Coach, Hank Haney. He certainly looks electric — did he ever do stand up comedy? No wonder 37 is a faithful follower! haha!

    • Haha! He does look like a deer in the headlights! or maybe he’s getting cateracts or something — that is a funny look on his face! My husband thinks he’s the greatest!

  3. Is 37 gonna make it to 38, that’s the question going thru my mind. I’d write him a note of encouragement, but I’ve forgotten the name of the sanitarium he checks into after these spousal exchanges… : P

    Loved the illustration, but it begs another question: Does it matter if your balls are lopsided and the little dimple thingies don’t go all the way around? : )

  4. LOL! hahaha! What sanitarium indeed! These days 37’s mind can be found focused on the golf channel and sometimes the science channel but mostly the golf channel!

    Leave it to a professional artist to notice that! HA! I’m so glad you pointed that out because now I have another question to confound 37 with! Thank Mark!

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