This week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge is to write a story between 33 and 333 words using the third definition of the word wild : a (1): not subject to restraint or regulation : uncontrolled; also : unruly (2) : emotionally overcome <wild with grief>; also : passionately eager or enthusiastic
The Transformation of Smidley Pench
Smidley Pench was so unassuming his mother barely remembered having him. But within the confines of Smidley Pench’s cranium, it was the Fourth of July – owing to the fact that Smidley Pench was absolutely wild about the Slimp sisters.
“I’m leaving for work now, Mother Dear.” Smidley Pench would say to his mother every morning.
“Who’s that? Is someone here?” His mother would always reply.
Smidley worked at the five and dime selling tiny turtles and goldfish from 9 to 5 and mooning over Loretta and Lolita Slimp who, thank the good lord above, worked in close proximity to Smedley Pench in the candy and popcorn department.
Every morning before opening, Smidley would say hello to the Slimp sisters and every morning before opening either Loretta or Lolita would reply by asking, “Do you work here little man?”
Smidley tried everything to get the attention of the Slimp sisters. Sometimes he would put several tiny turtles in the isle and pretend as though they had escaped and valiantly run after them.
Sometimes he would take his goldfish net and make a big show of scooping seven . . . sometimes even eight goldfish up at a time. But the Slimp sisters paid no attention.
It wasn’t until the day that Smidley’s boss came over and told Smidley in a loud voice that Smedley was doing a fine job and that he was going to give him a big fat raise that Loretta and Lolita took notice.
The next day was first day of the rest of Smidley Pench’s life. Loretta and Lolita took turns feeling Smidley’s muscles as he scooped up goldfish and squealed with delight as he rescued tiny turtles seconds before being crushed under the wheels of shopping carts.
Casual observers would have never guessed that within the cranium of this expressionless little man the Fourth of July, Christmas day and New Year’s Eve were happening.
And best of all, when he had left for work that morning his mother had even told him goodbye!
Yup, Smidley’s got a new attitude!
Poor Smidley! I enjoyed the mental image of the “escaping” tiny turtles — how heroic of him to rescue them!
Haha! Yes indeed Annabelle! That Smidely’s quite a guy!
Go Smidley! Great entry
Thanks braintomahawk! I’ll have check yours out! You beat me last time curses!!
Money perked their interest, huh? Hope Smidley is prepared for the two of them. Fun story.
Ha thanks Gina. It’s actually based on a bit of truth — about when I worked at Newberry’s five and dime when I was in high school. There were two unmarried sisters who had worked in the popcorn and candy department for years and years.
I went to high school with the Slimp sisters. You didn’t mention they were twins. The only way you could tell them apart was Loretta had a limp due to the fact she had one leg two inches shorter than the other. I took Loretta to the Senior Prom and we danced circles around all the other kids. Of course, dancing in circles was all Loretta could do. Thanks for bringing back that good memory. HF
Hahaha LOL! Harper! Oh would that I could have been there. Loretta Slimp, the one with the limp! And the other one, the Slimp without the limp who probably wasn’t as pretty or you would have asked her instead. I hope you still have the picture of you and Loretta at the prom. (Hope Loretta Slimp didn’t just come to your hip).
HA!
She was certainly a short shrimp…I mean Slimp! Love ya! HF
Lots of fun to read! made me giggle….
Thanks Mary i. Glad you liked it!
HI,
I feel so sorry for poor Smidley, got the girls attention through money, not good, I can see sad moments coming up in poor Smidleys life. Just the same I thought it all very funny.
Oh I know Mags! Poor Smidley. At least his mom acknowledged him though!
The first line is supreme.
Thanks Paula!
Snort…poor smiley. Loved only for his raise. Oh those Slimp sisters!
Amusing tale
Okay, I officially HATE autocorrect. That should be Smidley of course
I hate autocorrect too. I don’t think it has ever corrected anything the way I wanted it to!
The Slimp sisters are so shallow! Haha! Glad you liked it Carrie!
And he doesn’t care a whit that they love him only for his money. He still saves the turtles and scoops the fish. The BOSS is noticing his hard work, at least. I loved the variety at the five and dime, too.
Ah yes! He certainly is a hardworking guy. I guess it’s to make up for his insecurities with his mom! I actually worked at that 5 and dime in high school at the fountain which kind of tells you how old I am. I think they also sold canaries too (not at the fountain though! LOL)
Waitaminute – how did the boss know Smidley existed?
Are you by any chance an attorney because I know you work in an office. I actually had a dream about you last night. You were parachuting off a mountain.
If that one is to me, no, I’m just a grumpy IT guy.
Wait – did I land safely??? (It’s fine if I didn’t, but if not, I hope you’ll regale us with the tale of the great failed pb&j landing of ’12! “He should have aimed for the milk!”)
Hahahaha! Well it was a really weird dream. Since I don’t know what you look like I never actually saw you. But you did jump off, but you weren’t that pleased with the whole thing, you thought they kind of ripped you off. I don’t know who “they” were but “they” had an office on the top of the mountian and of course I was there I guess because I was the one dreaming it.
And you grumpy Guap? I don’t believe it!
It’s great that his mom said goodbye to him, but he really shoud run from the gold diggers
Oh definitely Jannat! His mother should advise him to run out the door and never look back . . . and she probably would if she remember she had him.
Being a detail person and a bit of a realist I immediately had to wonder what kind of raise Smidley could possibly have received to increase his standard of life. Hmm: a five and dime salesperson; making somewhat over the minimum wage…perhaps $.25 an hour more? Before taxes? Those Slimps would have to scrape and save to make it go very far.
Haha Ronnie! Yes Smidley is going to have to take out a loan because those Slimp slimp sisters are planning to take him to the cleaners (literally because that’s what the Slimp sisters do for a good time) HA! Thanks for being the voice or reason behind the five and dime!
I really do think you should have asked permission before using that picture of me as your closer. But I enjoyed the story so much, I’m not gonna say a word about it… : P
I’m gonna google around this afternoon and see if there’s a place where one can send in nominations for Best Line Ever Written. I’ve gone back and read “Who’s that? Is someone here?” His mother would always reply. about 6 times, and have laughed out loud each time. An absolute killer!!
I guess it helps if you’re a “certain age” when it comes to appreciating this twisted tale. I remember Newberry’s with great fondness: the lunch counter, the candy department, and the pet department with all those wonderful goldfish and turtles and, yes, canaries. In fact, reading your story brought back that overpowering smell as one entered the Pet Zone. I really must go lie down now… : P
One of your best, bwana! : )
Mark, I’m sorry about using that picture of you without gettng your permission first. I just knew you would want me to portray accurately the transformation of Smidley and I thought there is only one person in the world whose picture could express what words cannot . . . hence you! I love the pose — do you take yoga?
Thank you Mark for that wonderful compliment. I have high high hopes and expectations that you are still googling around for that Best Line Ever Written nomination because now I really have my heart set on it and I don’t think I’ll be able to go on if I’m not only nominated but WIN! I’m counting on you Mark with every fiber of my being but don’t feel pressured just because I have reserved a space out on the ledge just in case you come up empty handed . . .
Newberry’s! You remember Newberries too? Oh what a strange and wonderful place it was. Yes and that telltale smell of turtles (probably with salmanella) and caneries wafting among the scent of stale popcorn! I worked at the foutain. It was so much fun. I even got to wear a hairnet . . . ah the memories.
I enjoy your comments so much Mark! You are so much fun!!
You’ve depicted this scene perfectly. I can absolutely picture Smidley, the girls, Smidley’s boss, the goldfish…
Great writing as usual. Thanks for linking up.
And thank you for providing the great prompts and plowing throught the field each and every week. I’ve get so much pleasure form the challenges!
Graphic.. but poor Smidley.. for him money does indeed bring happiness!!!
Haha! At least temporarily anyway Asifa!