Hasn’t it been a fun week here in WordPress! We’ve all been writing, reading, (and some of us even rithmaticing) our little hearts out. Time to take a day off I’d say. And so here’s this week’s Fished from the Archives offering:
Confessions of a Vacuuming Fool
A sense of accomplishment this weekend! Something came over me yesterday (might have been pollen, still deciding). I went to Big Lots (my new favorite haunt) and bought me a vacuum cleaner. I was in housewife heaven!
It’s starting to become apparent to me that Peanuts (my brain) likes to vacuum. I think Peanuts may hold the world’s record for owning the most vacuum cleaners ever.
Peanuts can go to the store, buy a new vacuum cleaner, bring it home, unpack it and put it together (almost correctly, why dwell on it?) in the time it takes most people to drink a cup of coffee. Assuming, of course, they are drinking from a 64 oz. coffee cup and just had a tonsillectomy — but that goes without saying.
Yesterday, however, it was 37 who put together the new vacuum cleaner. 37 is my husband who is a mechanical engineer and who can put together a vacuum cleaner in nothing flat with his hands closed and one eye tied behind his back.
It’s quite impressive really, until he starts giving Peanuts vacuuming tips. That’s when Peanuts tunes him out because in the 37 years 37 and I have been married, 37 has vacuumed somewhere between 4 and 7 times. And in Peanut’s book, this does not a vacuuming expert make.
Yesterday after 37 assembled said cleaner, 37 was imploring Peanuts to wrap the cord around the new vacuum by using a twisting motion every third wind around the cord holder so the cord won’t get all tangled and curly (and therefore ruined by 37′s standards).
Peanuts refused to do this. Peanuts does not like 37 telling Peanuts, The Vacuuming Queen, what to do when it comes to sucking devices and does not take orders from a Vacuuming Has-Been, or more precisely, a Vacuuming Ne’er Do Well!
Besides, proper cord wrapping is the kind of thing that will no doubt cause mass exaltation in Engineering Heaven, so why desensitize him to it now? It would make for a rather boring eternity if you ask Peanuts.
This particular vacuum came with a yellow duster that is housed on the vacuum itself. This is why Peanuts bought the vacuum. Oh sure, Peanuts has a duster like that already – but not one that is attached to the vacuum itself! This is the kind of bait that will sucker Peanuts into a deal every time.
For instance, Peanuts saw on TV the other night that there’s some new car is offering an Ipad instead as the Owners Manual. Peanut’s thought, that’s a good deal and if I were buying a new car I’d get that one.
Anyway, Peanuts was a vacuuming, dusting fool yesterday and now the house is a pleasure to behold. Not a single spec of dust or dirt. Just stuff as far as the eye can see that’s dust-free, dirt-free and lint-free.
In fact, I might even have time to give 37 a few vacuuming lessons.
37 . . . 37? Hey, where’d he go?
Until next time . . . I love you