Hasn’t it been a fun week here in WordPress! We’ve all been writing, reading, (and some of us even rithmaticing) our little hearts out. Time to take a day off I’d say. And so here’s this week’s Fished from the Archives offering:
Confessions of a Vacuuming Fool
A sense of accomplishment this weekend! Something came over me yesterday (might have been pollen, still deciding). I went to Big Lots (my new favorite haunt) and bought me a vacuum cleaner. I was in housewife heaven!
It’s starting to become apparent to me that Peanuts (my brain) likes to vacuum. I think Peanuts may hold the world’s record for owning the most vacuum cleaners ever.
Peanuts can go to the store, buy a new vacuum cleaner, bring it home, unpack it and put it together (almost correctly, why dwell on it?) in the time it takes most people to drink a cup of coffee. Assuming, of course, they are drinking from a 64 oz. coffee cup and just had a tonsillectomy — but that goes without saying.
Yesterday, however, it was 37 who put together the new vacuum cleaner. 37 is my husband who is a mechanical engineer and who can put together a vacuum cleaner in nothing flat with his hands closed and one eye tied behind his back.
It’s quite impressive really, until he starts giving Peanuts vacuuming tips. That’s when Peanuts tunes him out because in the 37 years 37 and I have been married, 37 has vacuumed somewhere between 4 and 7 times. And in Peanut’s book, this does not a vacuuming expert make.
Yesterday after 37 assembled said cleaner, 37 was imploring Peanuts to wrap the cord around the new vacuum by using a twisting motion every third wind around the cord holder so the cord won’t get all tangled and curly (and therefore ruined by 37′s standards).
Peanuts refused to do this. Peanuts does not like 37 telling Peanuts, The Vacuuming Queen, what to do when it comes to sucking devices and does not take orders from a Vacuuming Has-Been, or more precisely, a Vacuuming Ne’er Do Well!
Besides, proper cord wrapping is the kind of thing that will no doubt cause mass exaltation in Engineering Heaven, so why desensitize him to it now? It would make for a rather boring eternity if you ask Peanuts.
This particular vacuum came with a yellow duster that is housed on the vacuum itself. This is why Peanuts bought the vacuum. Oh sure, Peanuts has a duster like that already – but not one that is attached to the vacuum itself! This is the kind of bait that will sucker Peanuts into a deal every time.
For instance, Peanuts saw on TV the other night that there’s some new car is offering an Ipad instead as the Owners Manual. Peanut’s thought, that’s a good deal and if I were buying a new car I’d get that one.
Anyway, Peanuts was a vacuuming, dusting fool yesterday and now the house is a pleasure to behold. Not a single spec of dust or dirt. Just stuff as far as the eye can see that’s dust-free, dirt-free and lint-free.
In fact, I might even have time to give 37 a few vacuuming lessons.
37 . . . 37? Hey, where’d he go?
Until next time . . . I love you
Hats off to 37 for keeping his hands closed and one eye tied behind his back. He may have a future at Cirque du Soleil — that is, if Peanuts doesn’t strangle him with the vacuum cord! haha!
Haha Lisa! Well he could do a vacuum cleaner cord high-wire act. And if I do decide to strangle him, I’ll be sure to use a twisting motion every third wind as per his suggestion!
There is something so satisying about buying a new vacum and using it right away. It’s like buying a new pair of pants and wearing them 6 days in a row. After the 6th vacuum the excitment has worn off. By the way I never roll up the cord correctly and my vacuum is 3 years old and counting. Take THAT 37!
Haha! I love it when clothes are new before you wash them. After you wash them the thrill is gone. What time are you coming? Can’t wait!!
The hardest lesson I’m still bring to learn is that if someone is helping, don’t criticize the way the job is being done…
Does that put me on 37′s side?
Haha! Almost Ronnie . . . but not quite! HA!
Hi,
Wow, a duster came with it as well, yep that would of definitely sucked me in to buying the vacuum.
We are birds of a feather (duster) you and I Mags!
If I did the vacuuming I know the vacuum I’d buy…even if we don’t need one at this particular time as it’s not broken …but I’d go for the Dyson ….I just think it’s great,,,,and I know someone who has one who can testify to it….Diane
Oh Diane! I’ve want a Dyson too. I have a friend who got one and she absolutely loves it. I think I’ll wait and save my money though for when they come out with a riding vacuum! Wouldn’t that be fun!
Peanuts is so funny. I like vacuuming but I hate mopping! How does dust collect so quickly? It makes me want to cry. Proper cord wrapping is a MUST for a perfect vacuuming sesh. Peanuts sure does know how her way around a vacuum!
Haha! I’m still laughing about how dust collecting so quickly makes you want to cry! LOL! I never thought of trying that!
As someone who has had a tonsilectomy – as a young adult, I might add – it worries me that I found that comment quite so amusing! I think that I must be masochistic!
Love it, Peanuts!
Ha ha and OW! I lucked out and never had to have one. When I was in third grade doctor told me if I had just one more sore throat they would have to remove my tonsils. Peanuts heard that loud and clear and I never had another one! LOL! I’m so glad Peanuts is a chicken!
Lol! Well, one clear advantage is all the ice cream you get away with eating!
Haha Katy and now that I think about it, I definitely could go for a tonsillectomy now as it seems a small price to pay for guilt-free ice cream! HA!
At least you have Peanuts in your cranium. I only have a vacuum… : (
Peanuts in my cranium. That phrase kind of rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? I’d rather have a vacuum in my cranium like you Mark. There’s plenty of room for all the characters you draw to come to life. Sure they are vacuumed up instantly but at least you can empty out the bag and salvage them and then sketch their likenesses. It’s a genius system you have there! Genius!