Yay! The Sun is out! And summer is sliding into home plate!
I really shouldn’t be complaining about the sun or lack thereof since I live in Sunny California and would never live anywhere else. I couldn’t take the weather anywhere else. It would either be too hot (Arizona I’m talking to you), too confining (Hawaii I’m putting your name on the board), too humid (Florida go sit down) or much, much too rainy (Seattle you’re staying after school).
37 (my husband) and I visited Hawaii for the very first time last fall. I always thought, when I go to Hawaii I know I’m never going to want to come home again. Well, turns out I was wrong. It’s not that Hawaii isn’t beautiful beautiful beautiful! (Btw, I’m asking for adjectives for my birthday.) It’s just that Hawaii belongs to the people who were born and raised there.
You see, I’d get a little stir crazy being surrounded on all four sides (or maybe even five) by the sea, see?
I mean, I like the ocean just fine as far as bodies of water go, I just don’t like what could be lurking in said body of water just below my big toe — getting ready to freak me out by biting, stinging or eating it.
And as far as places to live go, don’t even get me started about Seattle. Places like Seattle should be illegal.
37 and I lived in Seattle for six of the longest years to ever grace the pages of a calendar.
In my opinion, Seattle is a horrible, horrible place where people have to take a number to jump off a bridge. Ok, I might be exaggerating just a teeny bit, but whose going to stop me? You? Ha! I’d like to see you try!
Another non-wonderful thing about Seattle is that when the sun does come out (once or twice for a couple of hours in the August), you can’t go out in the yard barefooted because “the rain forest in which all things in Seattle are located” is home to a little thing called slugs, only they’re big.
In Seattle, you’ve got your small, your medium and your large slugs — inch-worming around in the grass day and night –their sole purpose in nature being to freak out barefooted humans.
And if that’s not bad enough, they also have this really cute thing called a banana slug, that looks like a banana only it moves.
Anywhere In, Arizona
I would go on to complain about living in Arizona but I’ve never been there. I know it’s pathetic isn’t it? I’ve only been to Hawaii, Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Nevada, Utah, and California. But judging from the shape of Arizona on the map, it looks boring. Maybe I’ll make it a point to visit that little notch at the top left-hand side just so I can say I’ve been there.
Forget About It?, Florida
Now, I’ve never been to Florida, but I think I would like to go there. Even though I’ve heard they have snakes, alligators, sharks, and stink apes and that’s just at the airport. Ha Ha!
I would visit there but 37 is against all things Floridian. (“Floridan” is one of those great words that make you sound smarter than you are.)
37 thinks it’s too humid in Florida and when he went there, he felt like he couldn’t breath and said it was so hot he felt like he was going to die.
What a pansy! We’re going anyway!
Until next time . . . I love you