Ten Reasons Why You Might Be Feeling Fat


You have a tendency to eat breakfast four times.

The only equipment you keep in your home gym are a treadmill and a chocolate pie.

Your dog leads a scrap-less life.

a sad pug

“My owner sucks!”

You’ve traded in all your P’s and Q’s for M and M’s.

Trading post sign

“But I gave you ten P’s and Q’s and you only gave me seven M and M’s.”
“Listen, bub, nobody ever said life was fair.”

Your idea of the great outdoors is standing under the air conditioning vent at Mrs. Fields.

Your bathroom scales have filed assault and battery charges against you.

lady standing on bathroom scales

“If you don’t get off me right this second, lady, I’m calling the authorities!”

You only have 34 payments left on your last McDonald’s drive-thru.

McDonald's Mcdrive

“Are you ready to order?”
“No I’m just here to make a payment.”

Whenever you get tough and declare you’re going to lick something, it always turns out to be a Tootsie Roll Pop.

You brake for cake!

woman in an cheesy auto accident

“How’d it happen?”
“She was braking for cake.”

And the number one reason why you might be feeling fat:

You are fat.

 

Until next time . . . I love you

36 thoughts on “Ten Reasons Why You Might Be Feeling Fat

  1. Hahaha! I love the last picture? How’d it happen? She was braking for cake. I can’t wait to see you this weekend where I’m sure we will break for cake countless times.

  2. When were you in my home “gym”?
    Mortgage crisis? Nope. The economic downfall was caused by McDonalds offering those extreme lines of credit to so many who had zero chance of paying them off.

    • I snuck in last Thursday and stole your pie! Sorry just had to get that off my chest! And yes, Rich, I couldn’t agree with you more on the McDonald’s scandal. I think Ronald McDonald should be in prison right now if there were any justice, in fact, maybe I’d even like to see him fry! :D

  3. You are fat. That’s definitely a give away! Haha I like your weight related post! I’m glad we were on the same wavelength. You know what they say about great minds! I really want M&M’s now….

  4. Tee Hee! These are all sadly a little close to the truth. I know it’s a good day if I haven’t eaten my lunch for breakfast! haha! I’ll not only brake for cake, I’ll brake for pizza, donuts, and french fries, too! Lol!

    And like Lily, I now have to go find some M&M’s… Thanks a lot, Linda!

    • Haha Lisa. I think we need to have a slumber party — we’ll watch Remains of the Day and eat M & M’s all night. Oh and here’s a little tip for making M & M’s even yummier. Put them in the microwave just long enough to get the centers melted . . .mmmmm . . . .that’s what I’m having tomorrow for lunch-breakfast! :D

  5. I have weighed 120 nearly all my life and theother day I weighed and it showed 130, I felt bigger, but not fat ‘yet’… my pants are tighter, but my wife says I look good in them tight fittin; jeans, my worry is I might reach …135???

    • Ha! It’s so annoying the way weight creeps up like that. Although it doesn’t sound like you have to worry too much Art! LOL Especially since you wife thinks you look better than before — it’s all good! :D

  6. Oops, you forgot one:

    You make Al Gore look svelte when you walk up to him and ask him to autograph your copy of the internet.

    Great stuff! Next time I order dessert, I’m askin’ for a big piece of chocolate gym equipment à la mode!! : P

  7. LOL! Ok, that’s enough to make me want to find out where Al Gore will be appearing next so I can walk up to him and ask him to autograph my copy of the internet! HA! And I do think more people would work out if they made gym equipment were made of chocolate!! :D

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