Hello Dear Readers. I have some great news! The Google Lady has agreed to answer some questions for us!
As you may or may not know (probably may not) The Google Lady is the author of two manifestos on the art of googling entitled: Googles without Goggles, and Google Says There’s Way More Than 50 Shades of Grey, So There!.
Luckily, I just happened to have a stash of questions sitting in a hat I bought just in case the Google Lady were to drop by! Let’s pick a question at random for The Google Lady to answer for us.
Our first question for The Google Lady is this one: 
The Google Lady is answering yes and no.
Why is that Google Lady?
”This is because when one door opens, another door closes. Or, conversely, if one door closes another door opens. Or counter-intuitively, if one door closes another door closes unless another door opens or if one door–”
OK! Thank you Google Lady! But we do need to keep things moving along. Why don’t you take a crack at the next question for us, Google Lady?
The Google Lady is answering yes and no.
Oh really? Why is that Google Lady?
“Of course, this answer would completely depend on whether the door was opening or whether the door was closing and whether another door was closing right after the door that was opening–”
Alright! Thank you Google Lady! Apparently the Google Lady had a few more things to say about opening and closing of doors. Ha ha! But let’s move on, Google Lady, to another question.
Here is a completely new question that perhaps you can answer for us Google Lady:
“The dog is running after the cat!”
Alright! Yes! Now we’re getting somewhere Google Lady and thank you so much for staying on task with that question! Unfortunately that’s all the questions we have time for—
What’s that Google Lady? You want to add something? OK, but make it quick!
“But remember, the cat wouldn’t be running after the dog if the door was opening for the cat and the door was closing—”
OK! Alright! We got it! That concludes our answer session for today! Thank you Google Lady! You may go back to what you were doing now.
”. . . because the door that was opening was also closing . . .”
And there you have it Dear Readers! Let us bid the Google Lady a fond farewell!
”. . . and the other door was opening and closing after opening . . .”Good bye Google Lady!
Until next time . . . I love you
”. . . and if the door that was opening was also closing then the door that was closing—”
Hey Google Lady! I put some cookies in the closet, why don’t you go in there and eat them. I’m opening the door now (You know how you love that!) . . . that’s right, Google Lady, go right on in and eat those cookies! I’m closing the door now and you know how much you love that!
Exactly.
Yeah huh!
Word.
And now all my searches are returning closet porn.
Thanks for nothing, Google Lady.
And not even any cookie recipes? That sucks!
I feel like the Google lady needs to be introduced to Al Gore, don’t you?
Lisa you’re a genius! I think Al Gore and the Google Lady might just be a match made in heaven or somewhere!
Google Lady is clearly an existentialist and it is a revolving door.
If not, Google Lady needs a tall single malt scotch in the worst way.
Please Rich I beg you not to ply the Google Lady with spirits and get her started on that old bugaboo of hers — that revolving door of existentialism OH! OH! Too late now! I hope you’re happy!
But if one door closes on the Google Lady she can just go throught the door that simeltaneously opened. DAMN that lady! Maybe you should ask the Voodo lady to have a few words with her.
I definitely think I’m going to have to get all three of them in the same room! I’ll have to make sure I keep Al Gore out of there though. He’ll fall in love with all of them.
Maybe the dog was running FROM the cat so fast it circled the world, or at least an indoor track, which would be more plausible. I mean a cat chasing a dog across the world is just crazy talk.
Oh now that’s a thought, Braintomahawk! Just exactly the kind of thinking this blog encourages! Especially when it includes crazy talk!
Oh, Lord! My stomach is hurting again– wot a post!
One look at the GL and I didn’t dare not read the post. Looked like she was getting ready to draw– and I don’t mean with a pencil! Musta had her six-guns hidden in her girdle… : P
Loved how she tried to get the last word, but you vanquished her with The Old Closet & Cookies Trick, complete with magical, surreal floating door!! May she be trapped in there till Our Pal Al does his Franken-walk thru the door just so he can study her wonderful anatomy!! : )