Once there was a lady named Ruth. Nobody knows for sure if she was a babe or not. We’ll just say she was.
In biblical times, it was either feast or famine, circle one. In this case we will have to circle famine.
A man named Elimelech (Mel), chose to leave Bethlehemjudah, his home, to go to live in a place he could more easily pronounce.
This turned out to be Moab. He went with his wife, Naomi and their two sons Mahlon and Chilion whose screen names today would have been Millin’ and Chillin’.
This is where Ruth comes in (finally!). You see, Chillin’ married her. Right after that Millin’, Chillin’ and Mel all died leaving only Ruth and Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi.
Some people tried to blame their deaths on Ruth’s cooking, but that was pretty unlikely since it was a famine and no one had ever been known to keel over from a bad batch of air soup.
So Naomi decided to move back to Bethlehemjudah (which today is known as Hunstville, Alabama btw). She told Ruth to stay in Moab. (Probably to get away from her cooking.)
But Ruth said to Naomi, “Where you go I will go, where you live, I will live, your people shall be my people and your god my god.”
In those days Ruth was consider a loyal daughter-in-law. Today, however, she’d probably be considered trending towards stalker.
When Naomi and Ruth got back to
Bethladu Bethladeu Huntsville, Alabama, Ruth thought it would be a good idea to go find some ears of corn to spice up her “killer air soup”. So she started collecting corn that was laying out in a field that belonged to Naomi’s relative, Boaz, whom everybody called Boaz.
So Ruth goes out in the field wearing her skimpiest robekini and first thing you know Boaz is smitten. (Not to be confused with smited. In biblical times, whenever someone got mad at someone else, the had two choices: either smite or crucify –but most people opted for smiting due to time constraints.)
When the day of the harvest feast came, Naomi told Ruth to get all “dolled up” (which in biblical times meant washing off the bigger dirt stains) and go to the feast — but she wasn’t suppose to let Boaz know that she was there until all the men were done eating and drinking.
Then Ruth was instructed to go lie at the foot of Boaz’s bed –being careful not to disturb his dog, Mitzy, who was already sleeping there.
When Boaz woke up in the morning Ruth yelled, “Surprise!” And apparently no man could resist this type of biblical courtship because right after that they got married!
And as luck would have it, nine months later Ruth gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.
They named him Obed, which, loosely translated, means “conceived at the foot of the bed.”
Until next time . . . I love you