Big Bucks Barbie


Hello Dear Readers!  For those of you who just woke up from a coma, congratulations!  You’re just in time for Christmas!!  Don’t worry if you haven’t got your shopping done yet.  I haven’t either and I haven’t even been in a coma.  So while I’m out shopping, here’s a little Christmas shopping story about the year my daughter wanted a My Size Barbie!  

Big Bucks Barbie

 One year my daughter asked Santa for a “My Size Barbie.”  A “My Size Barbie” is a Barbie doll that has been fed huge amounts of hormones at the factory causing her to become the size of Daryl Hannah.

Picture of My Size Barbie in a Blue Dress   Daryl Hanna on Red Carpet

To ensure that “My Size Barbie” would be in stock, I went to the toy store early.   I approached the Barbie aisle and was about to ask where I might find The Big One, when I tripped over a humongous box containing “My Size Barbie” nearly breaking “My Size Arm.”

The adrenalin rush I experienced from the fall enabled me to heft the package containing The Incredible Babs onto my cart, but not being Arnold Schwartzenegger (or even Maria Shriver), I wasn’t strong enough to maneuver the box so that I could see the price tag.

I inched my Barbie-burdened cart to the checkout stand where it took four of us to hoist The Big Gal onto the scanner, and I mentally noted that perhaps some low-fat Barbie cuisine would make an apropos stocking stuffer.

Being an alert consumer, I had estimated the price at around $40, $50 or maybe even $60.

“Do you know how much this is?” I asked the clerk.

“I’ll let you know in a sec, hon,” she said as she fired up the jaws of life to help her run Buxom Barb over the scanner.

As I waited for the price to appear, I recalled a Christmas of long ago when I had received a Barbie Dream House.  My mother had lovingly assembled it all by herself.  It had taken her the better part of the Kennedy administration.

Barbie's first dream house
Assembles in four years

That had been my favorite Christmas and I owed it all to my mother and to my Barbie.  How ironic that this Christmas I would be giving my daughter The Mother of All Barbies.

“Excuse me ma’am? The “My Size Barbie’ is $128.  Did you still want it?”

One-hundred and twenty-eight dollars!  Suddenly everything began to move in slow motion.  I could feel myself turning white . . . then red . . . then green . . . like an aluminum Christmas tree on a rotating stand.

I looked at the clerk, then back at the 20 or so people waiting in line behind me.  They were all staring at me and sighing a lot.  Maybe they were thinking that I shouldn’t let my daughter down for a few lousy bucks and that I should forget the expense because, after all, it was Christmas.  Finally, a gentleman from the back of the line offer his advice:

“Move it lady!”

Then the clerk from the neighboring checkout stand shouted over, ” My niece has one of those and they can  wear the same clothes!” And then, just to bring it on home, she added, “I think she comes with an entire wardrobe!”

The clerk and I quickly tried to figure out how many outfits were included, but that information was on the opposite side of the box and somebody else was using the forklift.

In the end, I paid with a check so big it would have made “My Size Barbie” proud.  And as the crane lowered The Ultimate Barbie onto the roof of my car, I knew in my heart I had made the right decision.

“A little to the left!”
When Christmas morning came, my little girl would open her very special present, and the wonder and joy that is Christmas would be captured again for one brief, shining moment.

I say brief because the day after Christmas, I made “My Size Barbie” go out and get a job.

Until next time . . . I love you

38 thoughts on “Big Bucks Barbie

  1. I have to say in my comment that your My Size Barbie purchase was definitely the most wonderful thing ever that you could have gotten for your daughter.
    (I have to say that because my boss, the My Size Barbie from the story, is standing over my shoulder.)
    (Thanks Linda)
    (Hmph)

  2. LOLOLOL!!!!!!! “It had taken her the better part of the Kennedy administration.” Oh, Linda. This post was my Christmas gift!! Thank you. The picture of the crane and the caption, honestly – this is HILARIOUS!!!
    I hope your daughter was able to make good use of the outfits? haha!

    • Oh Lisa! That makes me so happy that you enjoyed this! That really makes my day! :D

      And I don’t remember if Nikki did ever wear any of the outfits, but they were stretchy so she really could have!

      But my mom really did buy me the very first Barbie Dream House and she complained for YEARS about how hard it was to put together. LOL! But I always thought how hard could it have been? Well apparently really really hard! Oh but I absolutely LOVED that Barbie Dream House, and I’ve wished so many times I still had it and my old Barbie dolls too! That really was my most fun Christmas! :D

      • I may have to write a post about some of my most memorable Christmases. I remember one Christmas I got a potter’s wheel (not a real one but an electric one that came in a box) I’m sure at the time it cost a pretty penny. After everyone had opened their presents I immediately went to work setting up my potter’s wheel. I was excited to throw a pot for Christmas. Too bad the clay was white and sort of hard. Not what I was used to so I just continued on without reading the directions. I formed a semi-pot, put it on the wheel and began to work my magic, which lasted about 9 seconds. Then the wheel stopped spinning. I could smell something burning. Yes, I had destroyed the entire mechanism that caused the wheel to spin. LOL! All I was left with was a crappy pot that looked like it was made from play-doh and a potter’s wheel that didn’t spin. haha! I was at an age when I could feel guilty for not reading the instructions. I felt sick that I just destroyed and expensive gift. Of course now I can laugh. It’s sort of comical. If I saw this scene in a movie I’d be rolling in the aisle. haha!

        • OMG! I’ve got tears streaking down my face. That is the funniest Christmas present I ever heard of! You were such a sophisticated little girl. I can just see determined little you sitting right down and getting to work on your first pot!!! Hahahahaha. OMG! If feels good to laugh like this you HAVE to post this story!

  3. Thankfully, my daughter hated Barbie. But, if she’d have liked her, I’d never have bought this gift… you are amazing. Oh, and, as usual, the one liners under the photos made me snort in laughter. Thanks!!

    • So glad you enjoyed it Addie. I loved Barbie so I kind of promoted Barbie to my daughters. My oldest daughter thought Barbie was lame (She would have enjoyed Lame Barbie!) but my youngest daughter was really into Barbie so I got my fill of reliving my childhood Barbie desires through her. I made her save everything too! She’ll probably have to be in therapy at some point because of it, but who cares — it was worth it! HA! :D

      • HAHA.. Absolutely! :D Your writing reminds me to stay creative, playful and do LoTS of sketching. I have become a braver sketcher thanks to you. Really. :D And thank you for the well wishes on my studies… which um, I really should get back to.. tee hee..

        • Aw! Really? That makes me feel so good! (Tickled Pink even!) And I look forward to seeing your creativity in all it’s wonderful forms Pink! Let’s toast:

          Here’s to a recklessly creative blogging new year! *clink*

          • Clink Clink! Love it! Recklessly creative it is! HAHA Tickled Pink hahaha.. Thank you for being that whimsical side of me that I have forgotten, for inspiring me to be playFULL, and reminding me that humor really is the best remedy. :D

  4. My Size Barbie!!! That’s so funny but sweet to hear. I love barbie doll. Thanks for this wonderful post. I really love this post.

    • Oh I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Margaret. I think we share a Barbie loving inner child! HA! :D Thank you so much for taking the time to come by and check it out. Very much appreciated! :D

  5. My own daughter was Barbie girl…in her Barbie world and yep she wanted one of these monstrosities as well. I was more than just broke…I was borderline destitute, but I didn’t want my little girl to go without so I found a “lookalike” my size doll with blonde hair and “cool” clothes at a fraction of the prize. Thinking I had her Christmas wants in the bag…I went to bed a happy mama. Christmas morning came, she saw the tall box and got excited, believing Santa had answered her Barbie prayers. She ripped it open, took a look at the doll and promptly said, “Why is Barbie’s cousin here? Did Barbie forget the way to my house?”

    And I was thinking…maybe if I had had better directions…and wages, :D

    • LOL!!! Haha!! This is a classic Christmas story if ever there was one! Thank you so much for sharing it. I’m definitely going to get a kick out of telling my family about “Barbie’s Cousin” when we get together this Christmas. LOL!

  6. whoops “fraction of the price…not prize.” Although prize would be appropriate because to the amount of money I saved.

  7. Those terrible few seconds when you must make a decision …”Will I actually pay that for one gift….buttttt it’s really what she wants…..okay I’ll do it….and move the line along while I’m at it…lol Diane

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