Linda’s 33 Easy Steps to Writing a Killer Blog Post


Blog picture in pastels

Linda’s 33 Easy Steps to Writing a Killer Blog Post

1.    Pour one cup coffee

2.    Sit down to computer.

3.    Sip coffee.

4.    Spit coffee back into cup; return to kitchen

5.    Discover coffee maker broken.

6.    Locate someone to blame, if possible.

7.    Return to computer

8.    Stare at tree out window

9.    If no tree out window, take trip to nearest garden supply store

10.   Purchase sapling, return home, plant sapling outside window.

11.    Resume staring out window into space tree will occupy in three to five years

12.    Return to kitchen for danish

13.    If no danish available, graham cracker may be substituted.

14.    If no graham cracker available, soda crackers or  Ritz cracker can be voted upon.

15.    If no voters are present, a blindfold may be used to cover eyes

16.    Cover eyes; pick box.

17.    Remove blindfold

18.    Discover you picked soda crackers

19.    Realize you wanted Ritz Crackers

20.    Put blindfold back on.

21.    Pick one

22.    Repeat until box of Ritz Crackers is chosen

23.    Return to desk

24.    Eat entire box of Ritz Crackers

25.    Locate can of air to blow Ritz Cracker crumbs off  keyboard and face

26.    Spin clockwise in desk chair

27.    Spin counter-clockwise in desk chair

28.    Take trip to nearest drug store

29.    Purchase Pepto Bismal

30.    Return home; take Pepto Bismal

31.    Lie down on couch

32.    Fall asleep; wake up; return to computer

33.    Reblog post from yesterday

And there you have it Dear Readers, Linda’s 33 easy steps to writing a killer blog post! 

Until next time . . . I love you

41 thoughts on “Linda’s 33 Easy Steps to Writing a Killer Blog Post

  1. OMG!!!! Bahaha!!!!! When I got to steps 18 and 19 I couldn’t stop laughing!!! Then the spinning chair, both counter clockwise and clockwise and the can of air to blow cracker crumbs from keyboard and face… Seriously, this is some dang good stuff, Linda. And now that you’ve revealed your secrets for writing your killer blogs, I’m afraid everyone will copy these easy to follow steps! Oh well, it was for the good of the community. You couldn’t keep these tips a secret for much longer.

    • Hahaha! Well, Lisa, I guess I’m just a humanitarian what can I say. I’m so very glad you liked my little tips. HA! Now it’s just a matter of stocking up on Ritz Crackers, some cans of air and a nice swivel chair you are good to go! Oh yeah the blindfold too . . . hey wait a minute. . . .maybe I could put together a kit and sell it on my blog! I’ll be rich . . RICH!!

  2. How funny! I follow these exact same steps when I do any task at work! It only takes me 33 hours. Now I am in the mood for Ritz crackers. I better get my blindfold.

  3. Linda why are you so funny? My mom actually called me on the phone and she was like, “Go read Linda’s post, it’s so funny!” hahah
    Soda crackers are so grody. Ritz crackers are wayy better. But obviously a danish is top choice.

    • She called you!! OMG! And you live in another country! That’s the best thing I’ve ever hear Lily! Your Mom. I just love her!! Oh and I had forgotten all about that wonderful word “grody” You are a child prodigy, Lils and your new picture is making me laugh. (You still look really cute in it though) :D

  4. Wait – I’m supposed to have a plan when I blog?!?

    Wondering if this shouldn’t have been titled “Thirty three ways Guap can hurt himself while blogging”…

  5. bawahahaha! for me if i can’t think of anything to post then i wait until it comes to me, then sit at the computer and post, it saves a lot of money on crackers,danishes, pepto bismol, garden crap, gas and time…lol

  6. Reblogged this on The Ranting Papizilla and commented:
    Oh if you only knew how many times I have followed this list damn near word for word. Well, picturing the quality of my blog, I am sure you know just how many times I do this, *Silence! From the peanut gallery!* :D

  7. So that’s how you do it? I miss a few steps on a regular basis but you can bet your butt I am going to give it a go with all 33 steps. thanks for the tips ;-) …lol… I love it !

    • So glad you liked my writing ritual Lizzie! I am so amazed at how much you accomplish everyday with your writing with so many little rug rats under foot! You’re are amazing! :D

  8. Let’s see… you blog every day, so that’s 365 saplings a year, and… hmm! Are you sure this isn’t part of some plot cooked up by 37 so he doesn’t have any lawn to mow??

    You done outdone yerself on this one, and that sapling business durn near kilt me!! : )

    • Wait a minute! I think 37 has just pulled the wool over my eyes! You’re right. I should have suspected as much when I saw him selling the lawnmower to a passer-by who was there to admire the forest. Oh if only it were a sustainable Pottery Barn forest, Mark, I’d fee so much better about it! HA!

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