This week’s Trifecta writing challenge is to write between 33 and 333 words using the third definition of the word intention:
3a : what one intends to do or bring about
b : the object for which a prayer, mass, or pious act is offered
Mrs. MacSmathers Makes a Phone Call
Mrs. MacSmathers had no intention of calling unwanted attention to herself. Heaven forbid! Hadn’t she always prided herself on her refined good manners and ladylike behavior?
But somehow wherever Mrs. MacSmathers went or whatever Mrs. MacSmathers did, she was always managing to call unwanted attention to herself.
Take yesterday for instance, when it started raining step ladders over Mrs. MacSmathers’ house (and nobody else’s as far as she could tell).
Mrs. MacSmathers placed an emergency call to the International Weather Bureau to report it.
“International Weather Bureau. Larry MacLathers speaking. How may I help you?”
“Mr. MacLathers, this is Mrs. MacSmathers over in DanRathers? And something really weird is happening here.”
“Yes, what seems to be the problem, Mrs. MacSmathers?”
“Well, you see, it’s raining at my house but not at anyone else’s house.”
“Hmm. . . that’s unusual, Mrs. MacSmathers, but not entirely unheard of.”
“But you don’t understand,” said Mrs. MacSmathers. “It’s raining ladders, Larry, . . . . ladders!
“Ladders Mrs. MacSmathers? What kind of ladders?” asked Larry MacLathers.
“Step Ladders.” replied Mrs. MacSmathers.
“Hmm. . . now that is weird. I don’t know what to make of that. I better get my supervisor, Mr. VonBladders. Can I put you on hold, Mrs. MacSmathers?”
“Certainly.”
“Mrs. MacSmathers?”
“Yes.”
“This is Mr. VonBladders, Larry MacLathers’ supervisor. Sorry to hear about your ladders, Mrs. MacSmathers, but there’s really nothing we can do about it. After all, we only report the weather, we don’t cause it. Ha ha! The Eyewitness News is on the way to your house right now. And you are going to be on the 6:00 news tonight Mrs. MacSmathers! How about that? . . . Mrs. MacSmathers? . . . Mrs. MacSmathers are you still there?”
But Mrs. MacSmathers had dropped the receiver to run into the bathroom to fix her hair before the Channel 7 Eyewitness news arrived.
For as we have already said, Mrs. MacSmathers had no intention of calling unwanted attention to herself. Heaven forbid!
The shy, retiring Mrs. MacSmathers of DanRathers.
***
Until next time . . . I love you
VonBladders, that’s great! Love this piece, as always, Linda – your doodles are fantastic too! So quirky! Raining step ladders. I’ve been writing a fair bit of magic realism recently, so this really appeals to me.
Glad you liked it Katy! Magic realism — now that sounds like it would be fun to write!
D’you know what, it really is. I think you’d enjoy it. It’s dead easy to get totally swept up into the madness of it all. I just had to submit a written piece for uni, an experiment (a final, long experiment) at 3000 words and it was in that genre. Lots of fun to write, once I got into the flow of it.
Oh I’ll have to check it out! Do you have a link? I’d love to read it.
I am ROFL,Linda!Good that my family is asleep or they would have thought I am really heading towards the loony bin,heaven forbid
What funny names!And yes,she definitely was shy & “had no intention of calling unwanted attention to herself”-no wonder she wanted to fix her hair;-)
Hilarious piece!loved it!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Atreyee, and that you didn’t wake up your family!! HA! I may have to make Mrs. MacSmathers a reoccuring character. She’s starting to grow on me.
Yikes-then I better read your posts in another room,lol!
Haha!
Hi,
Oh I love the hair, that is priceless, and raining step ladders, loved it.
Thank you Mags. I’m so glad you liked it.
Witty wordplay, as usual. You are so Shel Silversteinish in this one. From an elementary school teacher and chidlren’s librarian, that is high praise indeed! Thanks for sharing your gift of insightful humour and creativity.
That is high praise indeed! I’m astonished and bowled over by your wonderful comment Cobbie! Thank you, I’m feeling very inspired!
I’ve heard of raining cats and dogs ..but ‘ladders’….I try and picture it…Diane
Best pictured from a safe distance, I’d say! Ha!
I’m sure The Weather Channel will want to include it on one of their prime time weather specials. Weird Weather. Jim Cantore loves this sort of stuff.
I wish they would do a special about all the weird unexplained rain like hazelnuts and other weird stuff.
Now that would keep my attention.
I love Mr. VonBladders – this post had my head spinning – great work!
Glad you liked him Dianne. I think Mr. VonBladders may have to show up again sometime.
Your wordplay…I don’t know how you do it lol <3
Thank you Draug. I feel the same way about your writing. I don’t know how you do it!
I had so much fun reading this. It flowed lightly for me. I loved the visual of it raining step ladders. What was that movie where it rained frogs (Tom Cruise movie, I think. I don’t like him). I love Mrs. MacSmathers because she’s a piece of work!
Haha! Yes, Mrs. MacSmathers is a piece of work indeed. I don’t like Tom Cruise much myself. Though he is good in some movies. I never saw the frog raining movies. But it sounds promising!
I wish I could live inside the world of Macsmathers, stepladders and VonBladders. Feels like my kind of universe! I hope she becomes a regular post like your drawing lady series.
Ha ha! So glad you liked it honey. I may have to up Mrs. MacSmathers’s status to “one of the ladies”. Yeah, she’d be fun to bring in once in a while.
LOVE IT!! Your illustrations are as wonderful as your stories, Linda. I’m with Jackie, Mrs. Macsmathers from Danrathers is worthy of her own series. Well done!!
Ha ha! She is quite a character! I’ll have to work her in somewhere. And I’m so glad you liked the drawing. I think she would make a good salt shaker. I should draw up some plans and have you “throw” her on your pottery wheel Lisa! LOL!!
whew what a ride -
Reading your writing is like a ladder of laughter for me
Ah Pink! You are so sweet! Thank you!
lol . Cute.
Oh I’m glad you liked it Jodie. Thank you for taking the time to come by and check it out!
I hope when the turn the cameras on, she doesn’t et a case of the blathers.
This was delightful, Linda!
Ah thank you, Guap! The perfect beginning to part two!
I’m running out of ways to express my admiration for your creative genius. The names roll easily off the tongue. You can’t help but laugh out loud. And I love Mrs. Mac’s hair and costume. Nope, she doesn’t intend to call attention to herself, no way!
Oh I’m so glad you enjoyed it Stephanie. Haha! She really is a hoot! I’ll definitely have to bring her back from time to time. I have a feeling she loves being in stories! And thank you so much Stephanie for your wonderful and supportive comments. You always make me feel so good!!
I love your stories. Do you have any published? I would love to buy them.
I’m so glad you like them Deanabo. I keep thinking I’m going to get an agent and see if I can find someone to publish them, but I never want to take the time to do it. I’d just rather spend the time writing them. HA!
Some people will do anything on a slow news day. Very funny and irresistible rhyming scheme!
Ha! Thanks Kymm. Glad you liked it!
VonBladders and DanRathers. Hilarious.
So glad you enjoyed it KG!
I’m releived that you finally conveyed Ms. Mac’s true motives. But, while were at it, you raise an interesting question. Since she clarified that the ladders were of the “step” type, I am now wondering what other types of ladders are available. I’m taking a wild guess, but I assume that the ladders without steps are not nearly as useful. Thank you for inspiring this inquiry and for writing another clever and funny story.
Thank you Lumdog for your inquiry about Ladders. After meeting with both Mr. Vonbladders and, of course, Mrs. MacSmathers, I have been informed that the ladders in question were, more precisely, step stools rather than step ladders. When Larry MacLathers pointed out to his supervisor Mr. VonBladders that step stools are useful with or without steps, Mr. Vonbladders was so impressed he gave Larry MacLathers a 5 percent raise, I gather.
No doubt, a “step” raise.
I loved this, such a clever and funny story! Beautifully written!
Oh thank you so much, Sugarhighdd!
This post was a step above. No, wait– it was a whole stepladder above!
With Mrs. MacSmathers as… The Beaver… (insert TV theme music here)
Laughing out loud!! Mrs. MacSmathers as the Beaver!! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. (I think the Leave it to Beaver theme song is much better played than spelled out I just realized!)