Hello Dear Readers. It’s time for the Weekly Trifecta Challenge! This week the challenge was to write a story between 33 and 333 words using the third definition of the word, exhaust: 3a : to consider or discuss (a subject) thoroughly or completely b : to try out the whole number of <exhausted all the possibilities>
The Staircase Dusters
“The palace was in uproar! The queen was sick! Prince Charles twirled around clapping his hands and barking silly orders at the servants as though he were already King.
“You!” Charles pointed at one of the men dusting the staircase. “What are you doing? There is no dust on that staircase!”
“But, sire, this is how our fathers dusted it before us, and how their fathers dusted it before them and how their fathers–
“Say no more, for I see where you’re going with this,” Charles said, for it was true — what was rumored about him –that he, Charles, was a man possessed of nearly average intellect. “But the staircase hasn’t any dust upon it, nor can I recall that ever it has!”
“That’s because someone has been dusting it since its construction by King Richard in The Year of Our Lord 6.
“Of course! I was just testing you. Ha!” Charles motioned for his royal dresser to straighten his tie and dust a bit of royal dandruff, newly fallen, from his heir-apparent hair.
“Well, then! Does anyone have the time?” Charles smoothly changed the subject for he was, as has been previously stated, a man of nearly average intellect.
The staircase dusters looked at one another in horror.
“What?” Prince Charles asked, “I’m simply asking for the time?”
“But our singular duty is to dust this staircase as our father’s did before us and as their fathers did before them–”
“Stop! I haven’t time for your histrionics!” Prince Charles commanded. “Mother may die any minute, God willing.”
The staircase dusters gasped. “Did you say God willing?”
“What? No I . . . well, what if I did? Mother’s been ruling 61 years and, as such, has thoroughly exhausted every possible dictate and command imaginable! I just want her to die? Is that so wrong?”
“Charles!”
Charles froze –immediately recognizing the voice of his Mother — for Charles was, as previously stated, a man of nearly average intellect.
“Mom?”
Until next time . . . I love you
This is Brilliant. I enjoy your words so much..
but big ears!
Haha! All the better to hear her with!
especially if he’s not that intelligent, he needs to hear all he can!
Haha! Good point!!!
Ha ha…
Love this. Very entertaining.
Ah thank you Scriptor. I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed it!
hahahahaha!! i knew i had to read your story this week ^^ never disappoints ^^ sheer brilliance
Ah Kz! You are always so supportive! I’m so glad you enjoyed my story!!
Haha. Another good one!
Thanks Lumdog!
The drawing is perfect!! LOL!! As I scrolled through my “reader” the picture came up and I started laughing – now I have a laughter reflex when I see your illustrations. This is just how I imagine Charles and Elizabeth. He seems so nervous around his mother, right? Poor Charles. By the time she dies he’ll already have one foot in the grave or maybe one ear!
LOL!! Lisa!! Yes I do think poor Charles is a little afraid of his mom. He would have married the Rottweiler first (as Diana called Camilla) if his mom would have only let him! Oh she’s a strict one! HA! I’m so happy to hear you are getting the laugh response when you see one of my pictures! Haha!! I drew and colored Charles and his mom while I was talking to Jackie on the phone for 3 hours and 45 minutes!! Haha! Hey lookee me!! I’m a multitasker!!
A pity you couldn’t work Charles’ son Harry into this. If his pictures are to be believed, he is truly the hair-apparent heir.
hahahah! I love the way you did that!
God willing indeed! I love how the stair dusters can’t handle telling the time as they’ve been dusting since the year of our Lord 6.
It’s kind of true. I was reading some excerpts from a book I want to read, written by a guy who worked as a servant for the royal family. Apparently Prince Charles gets his shoelaces ironed everyday! I told 37 and now he wants his shoelaces ironed too! OY!!:D
*Nearly* average… (: Poor Charles lol
Yes! our poor dear slightly weird Charles. I guess he’s not ours though. He belongs to Merry Old England!
Still laughing.
Haha Rog! I love hearing that!
Off with your head! Very good, frighteningly imaginable.
I know I read recently that Prince Charles has never dressed himself and has his shoelaces ironed every day. It’s a wonder he’s as normal as he is! Ha!
Poor Charlie. Love the drawing.
Thanks Kelly.
“God Willing” Charles, you are a jerk, sir! And only an average jerk at that!
Wonderful as always.
Thanks Jennifer, so glad you enjoyed it.
I got caught in the mom/mum crossfire and I am certain my husband’s ex wife hates me because I signed her Mother’s Day card from their daughters with “mom” and not “mum.” Seriously. English women are mums, not moms. I am lucky enough to be both.
Cute story. Probably true.
Oh now that’s an interesting story. She sounds like a very understanding, lovely woman . . .NOT! haha
Seriously!
A man of nearly average intellect… ha! so funny. I came to Downton Abbey late and so happened to watch an episode last night that remarked on how nothing ever changes in English tradition. And today I read about the staircase dusters doing their duty since the year 6! I love it!
Haha! I guess we were up there wandering around in the same area of the collective unconscious cloud together Steph!
I’m so glad you enjoyed! 
Ooh, he got busted – time to kiss up to mommy! Love the mention of his average intellect…too funny (I’ll leave off the pondering about whether ‘average intellect’ is generous…oops, guess I didn’t leave it out
)
LOL!! I like how you did that Janna!
Some wicked satire going there, Linda. Adore the heir-apparent hair. Poor old Chuckles, always an heir apparent, never an heir.
Prince Chuckles! Haha! That fits him best I think!
Poor Charles. His mom could easily have another fifteen years in her, if her mother was any indication. I admit, I too have wondered about his intellect…
Oh she could easily! I guess having servants to tend to your every need prolongs one’s life — on the other hand what a boring life the Queen must lead! All that waving and smiling when you know darn good and well she wouldn’t be smiling if no one was looking!
Fabulously hilarious,Linda!Loved the way the staircase dusters went on & on like a broken record & the word play with the heir & hair-poor Charles-neither heir nor (up)there(tapping the head),lol!
Haha! Atreyee!! Oh poor Charles. He started going bald really early but strangely his baldness hasn’t progressed since he was about 30! I think he should try the shaved look, don’t you?
ROFL!A bald egg;-)I wonder how much more ugly he could look
Hahaha! It’s hard to imagine isn’t it? LOL!
lol,true:-)
This is the sort of impression I get from the royal family. Awesome, as always. This week we were looking for the word exhaust as defined on our site, without changing the tense. Thanks for linking up!
Whoops! LOL! Hmm. . . I’m going to have to have a talk with my brain, Peanuts.
Can I still win anyway? (Sorry, I didn’t ask that My Brain Peanuts did . . . . Peanuts . . . go sit down!)
I always look forward to reading your stories, very entertaining.
Thank you so much Kitty!! How nice!
Thanks for brightening this snowy, frigid New Jersey morning. I’ll try to wear this Linda Vernon Apparent smile all day!
Haha! Ronnie, and thank you for your lovely comment, you made my day!!