The Sinuses of the Times


I’ve got a cold.  Which is weird because I never get colds due to the smallness of my sinus passages.  That’s what they told me when I had my head examined anyway.

I probably would have never gotten around to getting my head examined had I not used it to crack my car’s windshield.  You see, back in 1978, I was sitting behind the wheel of my Buick Skylark, minding my own business. when it suddenly stopped abruptly due to a truck that had gotten in its way. Even though the car was stopped, my head just kept on going and going and going  kind of like the Energizer Bunny (only not as cute), until CRRRAAACKK! It finally came to rest on a not-very-fluffy windshield.

Energizer bunny linda vernon humor

Oh go sit down!

I didn’t have a mark or bruise or anything at all on my head afterwards.  It was one of those accidental Ninja moves wherein if my windshield would have been a stack of bricks, I would have cracked right through them and everyone would have applauded.

I’m pretty sure the policeman who showed up shortly thereafter was impressed with my seemingly black-belt, head-butting abilities, but he suggested I get my head examined nevertheless.

Maybe I just looked like the kind of person to him who could never have too many head examinations.

So I did and that’s when I found out I had unusually small sinus passages.

Somebody get me my microscope! STAT!

X-ray Technician:  I bet you don’t get very many colds do you?

Me:  No, why?

X-ray Technician: Because you have the smallest sinus passages I have ever seen!

Of course, he probably only started working as an X-ray Technician that morning, but WOW!

It’s kind of nice when one has a feature about oneself that distinguishes one from The Great Unwashed.  I was so impressed with this news that, truth be told,  I have been a bit of a sinus snob ever since.

“Sorry Darling! I don’t have time for you today. I’m meeting my X-ray Technician at the Waldorf Astoria where we will be discussing the smallness of my sinus passages.”

But now, I’m a little worried about my small sinus passage status, because I’ve got this cold see.  And it makes me think that somehow I might have accidentally stretched out my sinus passages, you know, inadvertently.  But how?

Well,  I suppose after all these years, something’s bound to give in the area of the sinuses.  For instance back in 1978, I weighed approximately 110 whereas now I weigh approximately more.

Could some of that extra weight have ended up in my sinuses causing them to enlarge?

Does this make-up make my sinuses look fat?

Maybe I’ll just scoot on over the X-ray lab and find out what’s going on with my sinuses.

Of course,  I don’t want to brag, but since I’m the kind of person who looks like I could never have too many head examinations, they’ll probably let me go first.

Until next time . . . I love you

15 thoughts on “The Sinuses of the Times

  1. Oh, you didn’t know? Well, my friend Linda is a bit of a sinus snob. hahah! “…I weighed approximately 110 whereas now I weigh approximately more.” “Does this make-up make my sinuses look fat?” hahahahahah! I was going to say, at least you have something small on your body to brag about. I’d be bragging about small sinuses too, if I had them.
    Maybe this was the day, back in 1978, when Peanuts was born? :D

    • You know what Lisa. I think you’re right. It was an easy labor in that it was an accident! I actually had an MRI once and the results came back that my frontal lobes were abnormally small! For real! Hahaha! So I guess I’ve got that going for me too!! LOL!

  2. OMG!!!! LOL!!! Did your mom ever know you guys called her that? I think we are sisters! I’m probably the baby your mom gave up at birth because of my small head!

  3. I weigh approximately more, as well. And as far as your sinuses? They say less is more. Of course, I’ve always thought it depended on what you want more of. At any rate, it could get kind of confusing.

  4. I was catching up on my reading and I read out of order…I was wondering why ‘Bucky’ was referring to your sinuses..now I know why…lol… Actually I’m having trouble with mine too….having a test this month …totally blocks up when I lie down…I called you ‘sweet deprived’ in your blog on you cholesterol…well I’m ‘sleep deprived’ lol….Diane

    • Together we are just a basket of problems Diane! LOL!!! Well, here’s a thought about your sinuses. Buy some cayenne pepper oil at the health food store. Then before you go to bed put about ten drops into a little bit of juice or water then drink it. It hurts but it sure did clear up my sinuses passages — litte though they are! LOL!!

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