The Sick, Edible Horror of 1959


Hello Dear Readers! 

Today we are going to put away our mirth, store our humor in the overhead storage compartment and put a lid on our collective jar of Hardy Har Hars — so that we may take a serious look at a trend from 1959 that is so disturbing, so bizarre, so downright twisted that, frankly,  we really don’t even want you to read the rest of the post . . . okay fine go ahead and read it . . . but you were warned!

The Edible Horror of 1959

As you can see, this 1959 cook book is trying to pass itself off as an innocent Metropolitan Cook Book featuring foods that are not only delicious and nutritious, but also, foods that appear to have a wonderful outlook on life, a cheerful disposition and an enviable outgoing vivaciousness that would light up a room!

But even though things seem innocuous enough on the surface what these pictures are actually depicting is the sick, brain-washed, utopian edible world of 1959 wherein innocent foods have been programmed into wanting to be eaten . .

As evidence, let us take a look at this unsettling illustration:

Here we have meat that has been obviously drugged so that it can be paraded before the eyes of carnivores — by its very own offspring as they wave parsley in an attempt to draw attention to their very own parent’s deliciousness!  What in heaven’s name was going on in 1959?

And in another equally troubling illustration we see this:

Here carrots, radishes and onions are happily waiting in line to be dipped into a boiling caldron of soup!  Notice the mindless smiles and the blank affectations in the eyes of indoctrinated vegetables as they so willingly and cheerfully give their lives to this 1959 Orwellian soup du jour!  Oh the vegumanity!

And it just keeps getting worse:

Here we have an apple throwing a pie in its OWN face in some sort of sick prelude to the eating of a pie made out of itself!   Thank the good lord, cruel practices such as this do not go on in the present day (except maybe in a few third world countries)!

And finally we must insist that all children be out of the room before scrolling down to this final example of 1959 edible horror:

Family Cannibalism!  Here we see a strawberry about to take a big bite of sorbet made out of Sister Strawberry!  We witness Pear munching delightedly on Brother Pear Pudding and Apple enjoying applesauce made entirely of Mother and Father Apple!

These are images that will forever sully the once pristine synapses of our heretofore innocent brains.  I’m sorry Dear Readers to have to do this to you!  But you were warned!

Until next time . . . I love you

36 thoughts on “The Sick, Edible Horror of 1959

  1. I suppose being eaten is better than rotting–talk about body odor! Then, on the other hand, you could be like a plum and just turn into a wrinkled old prune whose only saving grace is helping people with constipation.

  2. I blame the Communists! They should have called it the Red Radishes Scare. That or those vegetables were grown in Area 51.

  3. Oh. Em. Gee. Linda, I will never be the same innocent foodie again, now that I know this world of brain-washed edibles exists. The drugged up meat being paraded about by it’s off spring is, to me, the most disturbing image. haha!
    The Metropolitan cookbook, with it’s unsettling illustrations, is perhaps an expose, a voice of the people, the tortured food people of 1959. LOL!

    • I know Joe, I don’t know . . . someone (maybe you and I) needs to form an organization to protect vegetables like PETA only they could call it, PETV. People for the ethical treatment of veggies. I know my grandson who is three, refuses to eat vegetables on moral principles (I’m pretty sure). All we really need is a button and a call for donations on our blogs.

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