Say, Speaking of Licking Honey Off Pencils . . .


Hello Dear Readers.  Here’s what I did yesterday:

1)

I got up out of bed (I would have sprung up out of bed but that particular spring is on the fritz.)   Stumbled to the three C’s — Coffee, Computer, and Ceyboard.  Stared out the window for a while but didn’t see any UFO’s.    Wrote a post.

2)

Took my little dog/toupee, Cha, for a walk around the neighborhood while keeping a lookout for UFO’s.  Still didn’t see any.

my dog chauncey Linda Vernon Humor

Toupee in Training

3)

Went to the Spaghetti Factory for lunch with the family. After that we went to park across the street.  Didn’t see any UFO’s there either. (I think they’re deliberately avoiding me.)

4)

Went to a couple of thrift stores.  And that’s when I spotted the  UFO!    (Not really — just trying to drum up a little excitement.  Note to self:  get new drum.)

5)

But while I was there I did come across this “Cool and Collected” magazine:

CA home + design Magazine humorous commentary Linda Vernon Humor

It’s so cool and collected it doesn’t feel the need to tell you what it’s about.

Let’s see if we can glean what “ca HOME +DESIGN” is about by the hints on the cover shall we? 

Let’s see . . .  maybe it’s about a man who enjoys wearing a 1945 Movie Theater Usher’s uniform while relaxing in his trendy, cement home that also doubles as a  trendy nuclear fallout shelter and/or bank vault.

And it also looks like maybe 1945 Theater Usher Man put too much honey on his toast this morning and got honey all over his fingers and then reached into his pencil box and got honey all over his pencils too –getting everything hopelessly suck together and — at that exact moment– the photographers showed up to photograph 1945 Theater Usher Man’s trendy cement home.

Naturally he had no choice but to throw the whole sticky mess on the coffee table hoping to pass them off as “art”  which the photographers obviously fell for hook, line and sinker!

ca art design magazine humorous commentary

Oh that 1945 Theater Usher Man is such a stinker! A trendy, artistic stinker, but a stinker all the same.

And by the look on 1945 Theater Usher Man’s face, you can just tell he is eagerly anticipating licking the honey off those pencils the second the photographers leave.

ca home design magazine humorous commentary

“Mmmmmmm . . . honey . . . .”

1945 Theater Usher Man is also hiding his hands behind his back either because 1) he doesn’t want anyone to notice their covered with  honey or because 2) he’s hiding the fact that he’s honey-glued himself to the wall.

ca design home magazine humorous commentary Linda Vernon Humor

“La la la la la la la . . . no, I’m not stuck to the wall, why?”

Oh that 1945 Theater Usher Man may be a stinker, but he’s nobody’s fool!

Well I’m sure there a many more fun pages to discuss in this magazine, Dear Readers, but I have to go find my camera now. . . I think I just saw a UFO outside the window. Either that or I need to wash them.  Either way I bid you adieu.

Until next time . . . I love you

17 thoughts on “Say, Speaking of Licking Honey Off Pencils . . .

  1. Well, Now you’ve done it Linda. You’ve found an alien but did you free him from getting stuck on the wall? nope! you told the usher that he should stop licking honey with his hands and lean against walls. But, Hey! least he’ll be safe from all sorts of nuclear attacks and if he should have company? he’s dressed for the occasion! nice :D

    • LOL!! We definitely want to keep him stuck to the wall, Andy! Maybe we can get a reality show for him where he tries to figure out how to live with earthlings and but he keeps eating honey with his fingers just when he’s starting to gain acceptance. I’m thinking either the Science Channel of the Food Network might be interested! :D

      • mmmm! good point, Don’t want him to get into more trouble huh? yeah, you’re right! better him stuck to the wall than one day awkwardly being stuck to the toilet :P

        Food channel just called, They don’t trust him to share his honey :P

    • Oh I love that idea Paula! That would mean not only do we not have to wash the windows but it would, in fact, be dangerous for us to wash the windows. Excuses just don’t get any better than that!

  2. Sounds like you were a)>> in the UFO the whole time under sedation and didn’t realise, or b>> licking a magic toad. As Mr Rodgers would say: oh won’t you be won’t you be my neighbour.

    • hahah! All I can say is never judge a book by its antennas, Lex. Oh and did you know that if you kiss a magic toad it will turn into Mr. Rogers? That’s what the alie– I mean that’s what Mr. Rogers told me.

  3. I haven’t seen any UFO’s today either. I think they must be avoiding our entire family. Also, I hope that man us able to unstick himself into the wall so he can get to work on those pencils! Yum!

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