Hello Dear Readers!
Welcome to Friday where, if you happen to be in prison, you get to make a big, fat, red X on your prison calendar over today’s date — which has got to be the funnest thing there is to do in prison, don’t you agree?
I’m in Total Wing-It Mode
I’m totally winging it today, Dear Readers. I don’t have any plan in mind for this post. Well, yes, I did have a plan in mind when I first sat down at the computer an hour ago.
I was going to show you a picture of my broken glasses. (I broke my glasses). Okay, a picture of my broken glasses is not the most fascinating thing to look at, sure, even if you are in prison, but at least it was a plan.
There’s Nothing Wrong with My Computer That a Little Murdering Wouldn’t Fix
Unfortunately I couldn’t get my Linda Vernon Electronic Device Team (LVEDT) to cooperate with me. Try as I might, I couldn’t get the picture of my broken glasses I took on my Iphone to go to my email.
Oh sure, part of my LVEDT malfunction problems could be that I’ve never taken the time to actually learn how to operate them properly. Unless one was charitable enough to call process of elimination button pushing ”operating”. (But, of course, one probably isn’t that charitable, which is probably why one is in prison right now.)
You call that an instruction?
Part of the problem is I don’t like following instruction. Nobody ever makes instructions fun to read. What I want to know is who is telling me the instructions and what is motivating them to do so? Do they live alone? Do they have a family? Have they ever seen a UFO? What about their drinking problem?
I mean, if there was just a tad bit more drama incorporated into instructions, I can honestly say that right now I would know how to properly operate my entire Linda Vernon Electronic Device Team and would probably be having drinks with the instruction writers right now. (Unless they were in prison.)
Buttons Buttons Everywhere
My problem is that every time I need to do something of an electronic-device nature, instead of reading the instructions, I simply launch into a fit of random clicking, selecting, resetting, yelling, unplugging, replugging, swearing, repeatedly pushing the on/off button, screaming (if the window is shut) and finally, when all else fails, damning them all to hell.
Let’s take a Post Break for a second: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could reset your Ipad by turning it upside down and shaking it like an etch-a-sketch? Okay now back to what we/I was talking about.
Anyway, Dear Readers, I fear I am turning into The Mommy Dearest of my Linda Vernon Electronic Device Team.
Time for another break from this post: Maybe I should beat them all with a wire hanger!
But seriously, Dear Readers, if my electronic devices should ever figure out how to write a tell-all book about me, I am completely screwed.
In fact, I’d probably be making a great big, fat, red X on my prison calendar right now, just like you are Dear Readers!
But hey! Have a great weekend anyway!
Until next time . . . I love you
P.S. I promise to send you a cake with a file in it just as soon as I can get my Linda Vernon Electronic Device Team to uphold their iffy “send” claim.