Dear Readers! It’s a day to rejoice! The Overly Creative Writer Lady — who has been away from the blog for the last couple of months on a pilgrimage to the biggest balls of aluminum foil all over the world — has finally returned!
Today she has agreed to discuss a piece of literature that has always been near and dear to her heart: The Transistor Manual
So come on everybody! Let’s all take out our Transistor Manuals and turn to page 17 shall we? And see what wonderful story The Overly Creative Writing Lady will whip up for us using the pedestrian text thereupon:
The Original Copy Says:
“The converter stage of a transistor radio is a combination of a local oscillator mixer and IF amplifier.”
And now for the Overly Creative Writer Lady’s version:
Fernando Converter Takes the Cake
The Overly Creative Writer Lady
The world-renowned Fernando Converter took the stage of a broken down community theater in Walla Walla Washington. His transistor radio was hidden from view in the breast pocket of his skunk-fur-lined smoking jacket his card-cheating wife, Manuala, had given him to neutralize the odor of his cigar smoke for their 50th wedding anniversary.
“The audience’s response is a combination of boos and hisses!” Fernando Converter thought to himself for, being alone on stage, there was no one else to think it to. “Could it be they don’t like my smoking jacket?”
During the hissing and booing Fernando reminisced. “Perhaps, for our 50th wedding anniversary, I should have given Manuela a diamond ring instead of a local anesthetic when she got her tongue caught in the 12-speed oscillator mixer beaters licking off cake dough. Come to think of it she didn’t seem very happy about the oscillator mixer, either!” Fernando postulated wildly. (Which only made the hissing and booing louder.)
And IF Fernando Converter bought an amplifier to enhance the smell of his cigar smoke now that Manuala was already mad at him, he was pretty sure Manuala was going to kill him because she cheated at cards and, as everyone knows, it’s a slippery slope from cheating at cards to murder.
But that was a big if which is why Fernando capitalized the ‘i’ and the ‘f’ in his mind while he was thinking about it.
In the end, Manuala didn’t end up killing Fernando, but she did poke his eye out with one of the beaters, and they lived happily ever after if you don’t count all the hissing and booing and Fernando being blind in one eye for the rest of his life.
And there you have it Dear Readers! We can only hope the Overly Creative Writer Lady pays us a visit again real soon but it’s also okay if she doesn’t!
Until next time . . . I love you