Golf Commentary in a Universe Where Nobody Keeps Tract of Yardage or Statistics


golf course grass

Commentator # 1:  There goes the great legendary golfer Arnold Palmer.

Commentator # 2:  Arnold Palmer!

Commentator # 1:  He sure is good at golfing!

Commentator # 2:  He’s won the Masters like . . . a bunch of times.

Commentator # 1:  I know!  He’s the winning-est winner who ever won!

Commentator # 2:  You can say that again!

Commentator # 1:  He’s the winning-est winner who ever won!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa!

Commentator # 1:   Ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa HA HA!

Commentator # 1:  HAAAAAAAAA ha!

Commentator # 2:  ahhhh . . . but seriously remember that time the great legendary golfer, Arnold Palmer, was playing in the Masters and he got up on the green and he eventually putted the ball into the hole?

Commentator # 1:  An Incredible moment!

Commentator # 2:  That will forever cement the great, legendary golfer, Arnold Palmer, in the annals of golf greatness.

Commentator # 1:  What will?

Commentator # 2:  The way he putted the ball into the hole at the Masters.

Commentator # 1:  Oh that!

Commentator # 2: Yeah what did you think we were talking about?

Commentator # 1:  I thought we were talking about his hair.

Commentator # 2: No, really?  Ha ha ha!

Commentator # 1:  Ah ha haaaa!

Commentator # 2:   Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Commentator # 1:  Ah ha haaaa HA HA!

Commentator # 2:  Haaaaaaa HA!

Commentator # 1:  Ahhhhh . . . .but seriously the truly noble thing about the great, legendary golfer, Arnold Palmer, is that he came from an ordinary background in which he didn’t have to overcome anything and yet he’s arguably the best golfer who has ever lived.

Commentator # 2:  What about Tiger?

Commentator # 1:  I said arguably.

Commentator # 2:  Oh, sorry  I didn’t hear that part.

Commentator # 1: No, really?  Ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa!

Commentator # 1:   Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa HA HA!

Commentator # 1:   Ahhhh . . . . but seriously, do you know how many times the great legendary golfer Arnold Palmer has made a hole in one?

Commentator # 2:  Who would know something like that?

Commentator # 1:  I don’t know, but I bet it’s a bunch.

Commentator # 1:  Yeah probly.

Commentator # 2:  You mean probably?

Commentator # 1:  No.

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa!

Commentator # 1:   Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa HA HA!

Commentator # 1:  Haaaaaaa HA!

Commentator # 2:  Yup.  There he goes the legendary golfer Arnold Palmer!

Commentator # 1:  I wonder where he’s going?

Commentator # 2:  Probably to the bathroom.

Commentator # 1:  You mean probly?

Commentator # 1: Yup!  Ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa!

Commentator # 1:   Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Commentator # 2:  Ah ha haaaa HA HA!

 

 

Until next time . . . I love you

 

 

 

55 thoughts on “Golf Commentary in a Universe Where Nobody Keeps Tract of Yardage or Statistics

  1. I’m fairly certain I heard this exact conversation on the golf channel dad keeps going 24/7. Ah ha ha hahahahahaha (descent into madness).

    • You did and it was on this morning when I got up. They were going over Arnold Palmer’s golf statistics ad naseum. What would all those commentators talk about if nobody kept track of statistics?

  2. Look, LV, I love your humour. But don’t you dare try to apply this cutesy little bit of hilarity to baseball. If you do, the ghost of Babe Ruth will rise up to smite you. There may even be a little Canadian chap sitting on his shoulder, hollering encouragement. While swinging a golf club.

  3. Any Sports commentary! Phew! I think they should observe a moments silence now and then. The problems with golf and cricket commentary is that it goes on ALL DAY LONGGGGG….perhaps we should have more female commentators so we could at least have a laugh about their outfits and hairstyles. Linda you want a job?

    • Here it goes on 24/7. My husband either has on the golf channel or the science channel. And you are so right! What this world needs are two female commentators (such as ourselves) to comment on the really important stuff! :D

  4. I love the way those commentators whisper when a golfer sets up to put. It’s like they are standing there with their chin on his shoulder saying “Don’t blow it.”

  5. OMG! This is as good as, if not better than, the Beavis and Butthead episode where they pretend to be golf commentators while they are looking for lost balls saying “tit-lee-ist, tit-lee-ist”!!!

    • Oh Trent! How sweet of you to notice I was gone! I’m working on a writing project! One that I am determined to finish come hell or high water (well maybe just high water), So I’m having to cut way back on my blogging . . . sigh . . .I’ll be by every week to write the bible stories though.

            • Well, There’s no details, yet. I’m still in the fleshing it out (flushing it out?) or let’s go with fleshing . . . hm. . . maybe first I should look up the difference between fleshing and flushing . . .

              • I really do think you should look up that difference… I’m pretty sure they’re different words. But I would read your book no matter what – do you have a timeline?

                • Well I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my toilet fleshing so I called in a plumber and he set me straight. So I can at least check the flushing/fleshing off my book writing to-do list

                  AW! Thank you for buying by book Trent! I’m buying yours too!! Do I have a timeline? Now that’s a really good question. I guess I do have a time line of sorts. I want to have it outlined by the end of this month. I have no idea how long it will take me to write the first draft. I guess my only plan is to work on it everyday until it’s done. LOL! Planning has never been my strong suit — can you tell?

  6. The more I read: “Ah ha hahaha HA HA!!”, the more I laughed!! In fact, I laughed more at this post than any other post you’ve written!! It’s like I was led up the laughing path!!

    You’ve got golf commentary down to a science– it’s perfect! You could be on TV– I wish you were!! You’ve inspired me to write some of my own:

    “Look! There goes 37!!”

    “Why do they call him 37?”

    “Because that’s what he gets on every hole– ah hahaha HA HA!”

    “You mean he shoots 37 on every hole??”

    “Yup– 37 shots to get in the trap, 37 shots to get out, 37 putts to get in the hole– ah hahaha HA HA!!”

    “Ha, ha! ah hahahahahaha HA HA HA!”

    “Say, what does Al Gore call 37 bags of Funyuns??”

    “That’s easy– Breakfast!! Ha, ha! ah hahahaha HA HA HA!!”

    “Hahahaha ah hahahaha HA HA HA HA!!!”

    Hey, writing golf commentary is fun!!! Great idea for a post, my dear Linda!! : )

    • Oh Mark! You always know how to make my day!! I’m so glad you liked this one. I was actually in the process of writing a whole different post when Arnold Palmer stuck his finger out of the Golf Channel (it was attached to his Palm . . er . . yeah his palm) and he tapped me on the shoulder and bade me to write it. In fact I think he was whispering the actual words into my ear. No wait . . .that might have been 37 blowing his nose. not wait . . . maybe it was Al Gore opening a bag of breakfast . . . . hahahaha! HA! HA! HA! . . .

Please leave a comment. I need help finishing my sentences.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s