All About Me and You . . . Well Not You

My name is Linda Vernon, and I want to thank you for stopping by this page– the act of which automatically includes you in my will!

Here are the real life characters sometimes featured in my blog whose names have been changed (in most cases) to protect the innocent (me).

37

My husband of 37 years whom I have affectionately nicknamed 37 to save time.

Peanuts 

My brain’s nickname –who asked that I find an appropriate nickname for it — and so Peanuts was agreed on by both Peanuts and me. 

Cha

My tiny, hairy Yorkshire Terrorist who I plan to rent out as a toupee if the economy gets any worse.

Let’s see . . . I am also a noteworthy horrible artist: 

Some pictures you might have the misfortune to run across in this blog will probably look something like this:

The Marlboro Man

Sorry to keep bragging, but I am also a noteworthy horrible writer as well  

I was the 1990 Grand Prize winner of the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest with this mess of a sentence:

Dolores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping across smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently,until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy – doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred-pound bar bell in a steroid-free fitness center.

Some of my most joyous moments in writing this blog come from poking fun at the following:

The Pottery Barn Catalog: 

Nothing fuels the flames of satirical creativity for me like a hot off the presses Pottery Barn Catalog!

Decor from the past: 

A continual source of amusement  is how — while we are living amidst our decor, we don’t recognize it for the clown house that it will become 20 years from now.

1950′s Homemakers

Never have so many dedicated so much time to doing such wholesome things!

Math:

I like to good-naturedly poke fun at numbers.  I emphasize “good-naturedly” because I have enough trouble with numbers as it is without turning them against me.

Science: 

I am a true scientist in every sense of the word except for the definition.  In other words, I like to make up my own theories about the laws of physics mainly to drive my husband, 37, – who is a mechanical engineer — out of his ever-lovin’ gourd.

Well thanks again for visiting and be sure to leave a link to your site so that I can check it out AND include you in my will.