The Overly Creative Writing Lady’s Book Writing Advice

Hello Dear Readers!  Guess what?  In the middle of the night, the Overly-Creative Writer Lady broke into the blog and left behind some of her sage advice on how to write a book!  Come on!  Let’s check it out, shall we?

When writing a book

By hook or by crook

It’s best to start in the middle

Then work out each day

From the middle each way

(With the concept you later can fiddle)

 

Now don’t give a thought

To the pacing or plot

For those things will take care of themselves

And don’t get bogged down

With the place or the town

(Just make all your characters elves)

Some writers they say

An outline’s the way

To keep it all straight in your head

Well forget what you’ve heard

You can polish each word

(For the rest of your life till your dead)

 Just stick in some sorrow

Some hope for tomorrow

Make your characters lisp with a  limp

You also might try

To give one a glass eye

(On character flaws never scrimp)

Now I suppose

It’s time for a close

From the book writing lesson herein

Just remember to try

To keep the bar high

(Perhaps as far up as your chin)

Until next time . . . The Overly Creative Writer Lady Loves You

The Trifecta Writing Challenge: Sally Milkerson’s Sex Change

Hello Dear Readers!  This week’s Trifecta Challenge is to write between 33 and 333 words using, as a prompt, the third definition of color: 3: complexion tint:  a : the tint characteristic of good health of  b : blush

Sally Milkerson’s Sex Change

Little Sally Milkerson wanted a tattoo

She asked her mother Wanda

If it was something she could do

Wanda would have answered her

But you see she couldn’t hear

What with all the piercings that were pinning shut her ear

 

So Little Sally Milkerson went and got a pencil

To write her mom a note that said

May I please have a stencil? 

Wanda would have answered her

But her eyelids wouldn’t open

Thanks to all her piercings, in the dark she was agropin’

 

Little Sally Milkerson told her mother not to worry

She’d take the task upon herself

And get tattooed in a hurry

She skipped down to the tattoo parlor

A wad of cash in hand

And gave it to the Tattoo-er — behind the counter, Stan

 

 When Little Sally Milkerson came waltzing through the door

Her mother, Wanda’s color drained

She toppled to the floor

A miracle! — It had occurred from somewhere up above her!

For her darling little daughter now

Had Harry Potter on her cover

Sally Milkerson AKA Harry Potter

Until Next time  . . . I love you

Me and My Turtle, Jeems

Hello Dear Readers!  This poem goes out to all my blogging friends and their turtles!

Me and My Turtle

I never leave the house it seems

Without my turtle (his name is Jeems)

He reminds me as I go about

To follow my nose (or follow my snout?)

He reminds me in this busy world

To keep it real, to stay unfurled

He says take care when you cross the street

Cause Jeems can talk (it’s really sweet!)

Jeems he likes the pace we go

When we keep it really really slow

I’d say Jeems was the wiser one

But Jeems, he don’t get nothin’ done!

Until next time . . . I love you

Cheering up Edgar Allan Poe

I’m cleaning out my blogging closet getting ready for the new year and thought I would post a few oldies I wrote last year.  I hope you enjoy them. First up:

Taking on the impossible task of trying to cheer up Edgar Allan Poe

Ed

“Once upon a midnight dreary”

“OK, I’m going to stop you right there for a second, Edgar.  First of all, it’s midnight.  light some candles, whip up a batch of fudge, invite some girls over YOUR OWN AGE.  Don’t just sit around and mope.”

 

“While I pondered weak and weary”

“Frankly, if you’re too weak and weary to even PONDER, you really ought to consider taking some vitamins and working out a little.  I’ve told you a thousand times, if you’d just walk the circumference of the grave yard four times you will have walked a mile.

 

“Over a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore”

“Oh so you’re not even going to acknowledge that I just said something?”

 

“While I nodded nearly napping”

“Ok, listen, that’s a big part of your problem too. Who takes a nap at midnight?  No wonder you’re having trouble sleeping.”

“Suddenly, there came a tapping, as if someone gently rapping, tapping at my chamber door.”

“Why do you insist on scaring yourself like that?  What do you mean “as if” someone gently rapping or tapping (whatever) at your chamber door.   You’re over thinking it. There’s somebody at the door, that all.  It’s probably just your next door neighbors wanting to borrow another cup of laudanum.

“Can we borrow another cup of laudanum? We’re making stir-fry”

“Tis some visitor I muttered, rapping at my chamber door, merely this and nothing more.”

“Ya think? What did I just say? Have you not heard a single word of this conversation?”

“Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December”

“You know, if you’d just drop the adjective “bleak” from you vocabulary altogether, you’d probably be a lot better off.

 

“And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor ”

 

 

OMG Edgar! You were stirring the fire and a few ashes fell on the floor! You’re such a Drama Queen!”

 

“Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow, from my books surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost Lenore”

“I hate to interrupt your little pity party here, Edgar, but I’m  pretty sure surcease isn’t even a word.”

 

“For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore – Nameless here forever more.”

“What are you talking about? Did you not just say that the angels named her Lenore? So she’s not nameless is she?  Ok, it’s clear you’re just wanting to wallow in self pity and you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.  Fine.  I’m leaving.”

 

Next time on Trying to Cheer up Edgar Allan Poe:

Edgar opens up about what it’s like to go through life having two belly buttons.

Until next time . . . I love you

Rummaging Around The Poetry Barn

First of all, let me thank El Guapo at Guapola for coming up with the excellent idea for the title of this post.

He was actually just reading my last post about Pottery Barn, wrong, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that El Guapo is a genius and not just because he nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award!  (Though it is further substantiation.)

BTW, I am planning to write my Versatile Blog Award acceptance post next week once the Eggnog runs dry.  And I would like to officially thank my blogging buddies, Guapola, Running Naked with Scissors and The Mainland  all of whom were kind enough to nominate this blog for the Versatile Blogger Award and whose blogs I enjoy so much I have to wait until AFTER I drink my coffee before I read them so as not to coffee spray all over my desk.

So without further adieu, allow me to  welcome you to this blog’s unveiling of:

The Poetry Barn

On a Cold Chill Winter’s Day

Off the top of my head

From the depths of my heart

I shoot from the hip when I say

That I love you and know you

Like the back of my hand

On a cold chill winter’s day

I’ve got a leg up on love

My elbows are greased

My eyes are peeled only for you

You skin is as clear

As the nose on my face

So I’m sorry it’s over, we’re through

Until next time . . . I love you

And Merry Christmas! 

Ode to the the Brain Brain

“Eww!”

Ode to the Brain

Oh little brain, we love you so

For thinking up the things we know

From your hemispheres to your thalamuses

You know the times of all the busses

Your skull cap’s skewed so jauntily

You’ve hit a spinal chord with me!

And furthermore, let’s be quite placid

Because of your amino acid

We do not sail this synapse sea

As hairy as a chimpanzee

 

Until next time . . .I love you