Category Archives: The Vegetable Lady

The Vegetable Lady Answers Some Questions

Dear Readers!  What a treat we have in store for us today!  The Vegetable Lady has been kind enough to stop by the blog and answer some of our most pressing vegetable questions!

A picture of a lady with a big toothy Grin Linda Vernon Humor

The Vegetable Lady will answer some questions

Our first question, Vegetable Lady, comes to us from  Reader, Phillip Flep, who asks: what is your favorite way to prepare tomatoes?

Tomatoes?  Golly Jeepers whenever I think of tomatoes, I always think of Christmas because that’s when Daddy, before he got lost at sea, would bring in a big platter of tomatoes, graham crackers and chocolate and  Mommy would set the Christmas tree on fire, and we’d make Smores!

Before Daddy bit into his, he would always say  “If I never see you again I love you,” but Golly Jeepers!  Mother and I could never figure out if he was talking to us or to the Smores.

This next question comes to us from Reader, Agamemnon Applebee, who asks: What’s the best way to get peas out of their pods?

Golly Jeepers it took Mother and I so long to figure that out!  Right after Daddy got lost at sea, we were awfully impoverished, so we had to live off peas until Mother and I  joined the circus.

Golly Jeepers!  It wasn’t easy to figure out how to get peas out of their pods until one day Mother borrowed a microscope and found out there was a teeny-tiny zipper in each pod!  Golly Jeepers!  I finally had time to get back to my sword swallowing practice after we found that out!

Our last question comes from Reader, Toots Tubaleeno, who asks:  What’s the best way to roast corn on the cob?

Well, after Mother and I joined the circus, Mother started roasting all our corn on the cob by positioning the cob between her teeth while  performing her flame juggling routine!  Golly Jeepers that was some good corn!

One night Mother set her beard on fire, which totally ruined her moonlighting job as the bearded lady in the freak show.  But Golly Jeepers! Mother sure went out on a lot more dates after that.

So let’s get this straight, Vegetable Lady, you’re telling us that your father was lost at sea, you set your Christmas Tree on fire every year to roast tomato smores, your mother is a bearded flame juggler and you swallow swords in your spare time?

Golly Jeepers!  When you put it that way it does sound a little strange.  I forgot to explain that I never swallow swords that don’t have a carrot stuck to the end!   Oh I’m so glad I remembered to add that!  Golly Jeepers! You would have thought I was pretty weird!

Well thank you for answering some questions for us today Vegetable Lady!

drawing by Linda Vernon Humor of the vegetable lady

Golly Jeepers!  You’re welcome!

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Until next time, I love you

From My Brain Peanuts and The Gang!

My Brain Peanuts and The Gang Wish You A Very Very Very

This is it

Until next time . . . we love you!

A Visit from The Vegetable Lady

Great News Dear Readers!! The Vegetable Lady has agreed to answer our most pressing vegetable questions!  Are we lucky or what?

The Vegetable Lady Answers Our Vegetable Questions

  Vegetable Lady, for our first question we would like to know if cauliflower is really a flower?

Cauliflower?   Golly Jeepers I love Cauliflower!  I remember one time when I was twelve right before Daddy was lost at sea, we were eating cauliflower and Daddy said, “pass the cauliflower and if I never see you again I love you.”  But, Golly Jeepers!  Mother and I could never figure out if Daddy was talking to the cauliflower or to us.

Uh . . . let’s move on. What are your feelings about celery?

Celery? Golly Jeepers I love celery!  I remember one time right after mother and I joined the circus, we had just sat down to eat a big platter of Celery when Mother announced that she was going to get a “change” and I said you mean a sex change Mother?  And Mother said no she meant a “species change” and right after that she started performing with the circus elephants, and Golly Jeepers she sure wasn’t very good.  But the celery was delicious!

Hmm . . . Let’s move onto cucumbers. How do you feel about cucumbers, Vegetable Lady?

How do I feel about cucumbers?  Golly Jeepers I love cucumbers!  Even if father did get lost at sea sailing on a cucumber raft he made from our bumper cucumber crop!  Golly Jeepers it floated and everything!  Father was planning to be the first man to sail around the world on a cucumber raft but about 400 yards from shore, he got a terrible hankering for cucumbers and he hasn’t been seen since.  Golly Jeepers Father loved cucumbers!

So you’re telling us your mother is now an elephant and your father went sailing on a cucumber raft and got lost at sea?  This is an awful lot for us to swallow, Vegetable Lady.

Golly Jeepers it does sound a little strange when you put it that way!  I know it’s hard to swallow but it’s all true.  Speaking of swallowing, my sister once got hungry and ate an entire bushel of tomatoes that Mother was planning to serve when Father got back from circumventing the world on his cucumber raft.  But Mother wasn’t mad because she said Father was probably dead anyway. Golly Jeepers Sis loved those tomatoes!

Well thank you for coming by the blog today Vegetable Lady.

Golly Jeepers, you’re welcome!

Until next time . . . I love you