Hell Dear Readers! It’s time for the Trifecta Writing Challenge! Today’s word is the third definition of pedantic: unimaginative, pedestrian
I Hate You Becky Slater
Becky Slater threw a high-pitched giggle across the counter at me. I sighed and kept folding the newly arrived baby tees imprinted with a pacifier and the proclamation “I Suck!” emblazoned across the front.
“Hey girlfriend,” Becky began, “you’re never going to believe what happened last night while I was walking Spunkers! I thought I’d die!”
“If only!” I said under my breath and then checked myself. Poor Becky couldn’t help who she was or what she was. I imagined Becky’s mother dropping her on her head while giving her high levels of radiation and simultaneously force feeding her lead.” Yup, that would explain Becky alright. I lingered on the thought.
“So, anyways, girlfriend, I’m walking Spunkers when this fire-engine guy goes by with his siren on, sees me and honks! He was hitting on me on the way to a fire! I was so embarrassed! It was super pedantic!”
I hate you Becky I wanted to say but instead I said, “Uh . . . I think you might be using the word pedantic wrong, Becky. Pedantic means pedestrian.”
Becky giggled two octaves above middle C. “Shut the hell up, girlfriend! Tell me something I don’t know! I was the pedestrian . . . hello? Anyways, you’re so lucky you’re not hot, girlfriend!” Becky was refolding the baby tees I just folded so that only “I suck” showed.
“Well maybe he was honking because he was entering an intersection, Becky.”
“Shut the hell up, girlfriend! That fire guy wanted to jump my bones! End of story!”
I was about to tell Becky she was delusional, just as soon as I could think of a small word that meant delusional, when the door jingled open.
A fireman entered and sauntered up to Becky. “Hi beautiful! Remember me? I honked at you yesterday on my way to a fire!”
“Tell me about it, fire guy!” Becky giggled three octaves above middle C — then turned to me. “Told you so, Girlfriend!”
Until next time . . . I love you