Hello Dear Readers! I thought it might be fun to take a look at the way food was prepared back in 1977, a year where absolutely nothing happened and there wasn’t anything to do but play around with food.
Join me now, won’t you? As we infiltrate the space/time continuum by whizzing back to 1977 via the pages of McCall’s Cook School!
First up is this delightful Golden Seafood Platter:
To the untrained eye, this seafood platter might appear unimaginative, but to McCall’s cooking school graduates this is a study of perpendicular proportions!
For you see, each piece of fish has been magnetically lined up with true north using a cooking compass/thermometer. And each shrimp has been carefully hand-placed to align with Orion’s Belt after Orion had to let it out a couple notches due to eating too much seafood.
Then there’s this well-groomed platter of chicken and potatoes!
To get this random look just right, McCall’s Cooking School dictates that one must first arrange the chicken in a counter-clockwise direction and then walk across the room and toss the potatoes onto the plate one at a time which is the secret to giving any dish that coveted un-fussed with appeal that McCall’s Cooking School is trying their darnedest to get the hang of.
Blanquette De Veau and You!
Leave it to McCall’s Cooking School to find an educational way to bring together the French Navy, The Middle Ages and veal! As you can see, the miniature carrots have been arranged in the exact formation as the cannons on French war ships during the battle of . . . everybody say it together — The Siege of La Rochelle!
As you can also see, the mushrooms have been mathematically placed exactly where they would have landed had they actually been shot out of the carrot cannons –which could account for why the French lost the battle of –everybody say it together — The Siege of La Rochelle!
McCall’s Cooking School Says this is the Standard Dish That Belongs in Every Good Cook’s Repertoire
If there’s one thing McCall’s Cooking School is big on it’s that it doesn’t really matter how food actually tastes as much as it does how well food stays together without getting out the glue gun.
In that vein, they present to us their PhD of food arrangement: Chicken Leg Parsley Exultation de Biscuit. Because in the year 1977, if a dish wasn’t a shrine to something; it really wasn’t anything at all.
And there you have it Dear Reader! Thank you for agreeing to infiltrate the space/time continuum by whizzing back to 1977 via the pages of McCall’s Cook School! It probably wouldn’t hurt to go comb your hair a little bit.
Until next time. . . I love you